wallalala

While flipping through a magazine which Mama Yoda says might help for the new London project, I chanced upon an article by this traveler guy. He talked about writing his traveling experiences in his journal, like a travel diary. He said..

"Why journalling when blogging, its internet counterpart, appears the way to go? Simple-for its sheer tactile quality and aesthetic appeal... Crammed with vignettes and dog-eared through time, that journal becomes part of the writer and his history.."

So that explains why I can't part with my journals, the oldest dating back when I was in sec 1. I think now I have almost 15, in different types of notebooks. And half of it was for when I was in poly. It included all my thought processes and not to forget notes on the old dude's theory lectures and lehn's pqm stuff. Yeap, I confess I will lapse into my narcissist or emo mode (sometimes) and will read back all the journals in chronological order, till the wee hours, alone in my room. Sometimes, when my mum or sisters happen to come in, they will either see me laughing my head off or frowning at the window. Then they'll realize that they have a very disturbed family member. Sigh..

I looked again at the grad pictures which I had put up. I cant help but feel that my face is a bit weird. And I looked small and kind of (kind of) thin next to other people. And I had that cramped smile on my face. Oh well, I cant smile for a long period of time anyway, my mouth cant take it. And yeah, I just looked damn weird. Is that really me standing next to Abel? Is that really how I look? Why do I look like a crazed, demented, neurotic malay girl? Haiz..I guess that explains why Im still single all this time. And no, Deq, it's not because im a closet lesbian! Im straight for god's sake!!!!

Maaan, i really feel like murdering the stupid, ugly bitch director from one glass company. She really, really, really pisses me off. She keeps saying.. "eh, makcik, your dwg salah... it cant work... its not possible... blah, blah, blah, ding, ding dong, im a stupid ugly bitch who only knows how to order people around and everything on my face is fake and i could kill a dog if it walked by me..."

Seriously, i could've strangled her wrinkled neck and pulled off her fake clumpy mascara'ed eyelashes and then stuff it up her fake (most probaby ar?) asshole. And then i will step on her fake maroon fingernails and put it in stale coffee and force her to drink it, sloooowwwlllllyyyyyyy....... or i could cut up her big red ugly lips and ..........

You get the idea, dont you? I just want to torture before killing her. Urgh...now the thing is, i have to meet her tomorrow, at her bloody office, and uncle Bee cant make it tml. Im praying to God that i wont resort to killing any innocent beings (except for the fake bitch lah) due to any external pressure from a supernatural being who is a walking nightmare/disaster/ CRAP. AMIN