ergh....

Nothing much has changed actually. Though i believe that i've become a bit more outspoken with strangers. Nothing wrong with that right? But it still feels strange, it doesnt feel like me yet it's what i've become. No, i dont fake being happy talking to people but after the conversation ends, im back to being sort-of depressed.

i dont even know why that is so. Its like an emptiness swelling inside, you know its there but you cant do anything about it. Actually, you dont know what to do about it. I was accused of being in love a few weeks ago, due to my unattentiveness at work. But really, what was consuming my thoughts was that there were so many things to do and yet there's nothing much to do. Just like there are a trillion things to think about yet it amounts to nothing, when you really sit down and think about it.

So many things to think about, so many ideas to express but im stuck. i cant move at all. I want to talk but i dont know where to start. I want to paint but i cant decide on what to paint or how to. I want to do so many things,making my own dress, paint a portrait, design my blog, take pictures of sceneries or just walk around town.

Its very LOUD inside. So many chances to do and change so many things. But i just cant get my mind to start on it.

AND SO I FEEL LAZY AGAIN...

i wish i was at home with the 2 buggers, playing spongebob monopoly or just watching tv. Yeah, im blaming it on the festive and rainy season for making me lazy and lethargic. Im left with 3 projects to complete, 3 this month(2 at airport) and one next month at NUH. And since its the end of the year, im back to questioning what i really want out of life. Haiz. But that post will be up later, much later.

This year has been quite an exciting one. I think i have grown a bit more mature, just a teensy bit though. And i think kids find me cute, or maybe weird? I get stared at by kids whenever i go out. Mum has noticed that recently. Kids looking at me with mouths wide open or some of them stealing glances at me. They keep looking at me, waiting for something to happen. Maybe they are hoping for me to burst into a million bubbles, or lollipops or chocolates??? Maybe im just too cute lah..haha..

Maybe next time, i should ask them why they keep staring??? I hope the answer is not what i think it is....

aiyayayayaya

There's exactly 12 more days to the end of the year!!!!

And yeah, its hari raya haji tomorrow. Im sooo gonna stuff my face with the kway teow goreng that i requested from my aunt. Maybe they will karaoke again and i will end up at the dining table gobbling everything on the table while they scream their lungs out. haha. By the way, last night's dinner of indian kway teow wasnt satisfying, i burnt my mouth while gobbling it all up just seconds after it was served. And i think i bit into clumps of salt. YUCK!

Im in the mood to catch a movie, to shop till i drop, to eat till i cant walk...but im on the brink of brokedom. But i still have so much shopping (and bill paying) to do...Money, i need LOADS OF IT!!!!!!

And i need to start a new year's resolution list, and shopping list, work list, things to eat list, places to go list, et cetera, etcetera, etcetera....