5-1=0 dammit.

im depressed, news over the 3 boys sueing SM is not resolved yet and now there's the issue where DBSK dont even know about the contract details with Avex, Japan. and then Jae and Chun are gonna do single with a band? Yun and Min are also not joining JauChunSu at all in this issue?

What if what we dont want, is gonna happen? I dont want a disbandment but somehow it seems like there's no good news at all. How long do we have to wait for things to be resolved? I really hope HoMin are ok, some people are bitching on them just because they're not with the other 3. Whatever it is, i sincerely wish that the boys will be happy. But no disbandment ok? i betcha Cassies will burn down SM building... while i'll be here sending curses to LSM...


im serious.

mukyaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

OH GOD!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR THIS LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL I WOULDNT DARE TO ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE...I..I...I LOVE YUNJAE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!

*squeals and runs off to private yunjae corner*

you've gotta be kidding me u asshole

today started off fine, i woke up on time, train wasnt so bloody packed, managed to board the bayshore bus on time therefore i reached office on time, for once. But that all went downhill after lunch.

mum called saying that she might be getting sick, so she wants me to call NUH to postpone the operation. I was truly pissed off. How bloody long does she want to wait? its painful and its cancer dammit, the doctor has said that we cant wait for too long. The blahdy cancer has been in there for like 1 month plus already. i cant stand it being in there, why cant she understand this? i know she's afraid but dammit lah, if we tangguh any further im afraid what has been labelled as benign might turn off worst. the faster the better can? im really worried lah. and i cant stand it when she calls, or any other family member for that matter. PLS DONT FUCKING CALL ME WHEN IM WORKING, especially when u can bloody well type an sms for fuck's sake. im sorry, but im just anal about this. this will ALWAYS get my mood like crap for the whole day when im busy doing dwgs.

and then, the bloody son of a bitch of a contractor called me up at 2.30pm, asking me to join in meeting with the chairman and md at site at 3pm. Bloody asshole. i asked why didnt he tell me earlier, he said he was just called to go. and when i asked if im really needed, he said yes. So i, feeling like there is something wrong with the picture cos when i called md, he didnt pick up his farking phone, went to take a cab. the bloody fucker called me up once asking where i was cos chairman and md already arrived, and then called me up the 2nd time when i was at the ecp almost reaching the city, to apologize and tell me that i was not needed, it was only a site visit to see the exhaust. so i asked the cabbie to drop me off at bugis, while i made a few phone calls and walked around like a lunatic before heading back to office.

it was just absurd because my gut feeling told me that it was a false alarm. if MD wanted me to join in, he would have called me directly. in my mind, i was going, i knew it, i knew it, but i still went out rushing. i was glowering and scowling all the way back to office. and i wanted to push anyone who walked near me. i swear to you, if i get my hands on that moronic shithead, he'd wish he was born with vajahjah instead of what he has right now, cos im gonna kick him in the groin and staple tthose balls to his thighs so he'd never have offsprings again. sadistic? yar whatever, im so fucking pissed i feel like my head is gonna pop off.

i dont care if im being overdramatic or mengada ngada but seriously lah, there's no where else to rant and my life sucks right now so this is the only outlet.

&^*V*&B(*N)M)(P*)N^B&^%%#$^%X#%^R*^ U*GUGUIPL..

there, there, i feel better now. maybe i should write about my espionage dream, which has been continueing like a mystery drama serial...maybe

for the love of Yunjae and all the beautiful men out there

OMO!!!!!! i cant stand it, there's 2pm's again and again and then there's akanishi jin's Lovejuice which really sounds like Justin timberlake's My Love. these 2 are on repeat mode all the time... im soo in love with junsu, from 2pm, not that i dont love junsu from dbsk but that's a different kind of love... anyway,he's soo super beautiful, those sleepy eyes, that snow white skin, his lips....aigooo...super droolworthy i tell u..

and i dont need to tell you that i miss yunho...i want him back in korea and on variety shows....aish, bogoshipo yunho ssi...and jae as welll...so beautiful i feel like covering my face with a brown paperbag labelled UGLY everytime i see his pictures... OMG, have u seen his pix where he was shirtless and smirking like he knows something that we dont but i bet we yunjae shippers know what it is he's hiding....GAH!!!! i was totally spazzing when i saw that pix... yati was rolling her eyes and ignoring me the whole time i was squealing like a pig.

but i think i've caught another bug, its the HoMin bug...i think we need a bit more of it. Its just that after watching AADBSK2, i realised that changmin always acts cute in small ways in front of his hyungs, especially with leader ssi.. like the part where they were doing school uniform cf and facing each other, Min pulled yunnie's shirt and then yun adjusted min's shirt and poked his tummy...aigoooo...i, i was in heaven cos they looked so cute and adorable, like real brothers and for once, changmin really looked like his age...wahhhhhhaaaaaaahahahah..

if they have mini dbsks, i'd buy them and keep them in my pocket wherever i go...which reminds me i have to do the YunJae mug...have to make it real!!!!!

ps: i guess from now on all my posts will be ramblings on korean idols and YunJae especially... wahahhaha *rushes back home to build back Yunjae archive...WEEEE*

and i thought i was strong

but i was the one who ended up crying first. it felt like a bad sci fi drama. the doctor was drawing out diagrams and talking in a kind of hushed voice and she was next to me listening intently. tears started pooling and before i know it, i was sobbing quietly like an idiot, the mother load of tears came out at the part where the doctor was explaining about the whole breast being removed for a surgery option. a nurse passed me a tissue, when she saw me desperately trying to wipe my snot with the back of my palm. its stage 1, thank goodness for that but still...

i couldnt look at her for the entire time we were in the consultation room and i didnt have any comforting words to say. i DONT know what to say. How do you comfort someone especially your loved ones after hearing news like this? it was absurd to be seeing the problem made up of diagrams on a piece of paper and scans of the cyst...seriously, its giving me a headache..im starting to

Earth hour today at 8.30pm

So yesterday was the checkup at NUH for mum, after the ultrascan and the mammogram, we found out that she has 2 small lumps about 1cm size in her right breast. Will need to go for needle biopsy next week to check whether its benign or its the other thing. I dont know what to think or feel. Mum tried to look calm but i can see the worries forming in her eyes, even after both of us try to comfort ourselves that its nothing. Because of her age, she's turning 50 this year, and because she's prone to get sick easily, i cant help but worry. I really, really pray to God that this is nothing serious. I cannot imagine, in fact i dont want to think of negative stuffs for now.

Sometimes i wonder, wouldnt it be nice if we were still toddlers? Not knowing and understanding things would make life pretty much simple and stress free right?

dont you think the grass is always greener on the other side? no matter what people say, or no matter if the truth was told, somewhere in the back of your mind, the grass is always greener. maybe its just human nature to be envious of others and greedy, not happy or satisfied with what they have. Where am i going with this post actually? no idea.

one day i will meet you and tell you how cool you guys are.. well i'll just be satisfied if i get to see you guys perform live. Soo.. till then, DBSK FIGHTING!!!!

* runs off to sing along to all DBSK songs, My destiny on repeat 1000 x times.

(kind of in a melancholic mode now, please leave me in peace for today and tomorrow since i dont give a donkey's arse on what's happening over there, well at least until monday lah)

Miane yeobo~~~

Im so devastated! really, really heartbroken and angry, soo pissed off with myself. Why? i remember, the last day i saw u was on tuesday, a quick peek to make sure you're there. But then i forgot about you until yesterday...the nice dinner i had was totally ruined when i found out you were gone...

WHY????

i lost you my mini yunnie ssi...waaaaa~~...where are your right now??? i hope you're not lying on the ground somewhere on tampines one site out of all places...NOOOOOO!!!

i feel so guilty...for forgetting and losing you..Miane yeobo..you're definitely not in the office cos i certainly wont leave u in the office, but ic ant find you at home either...what the fuck sehh...and if mum finds out that the new ezlink attached to you is gone, im SO gonna get an earful...

But what is that pain compared to my heart which is breaking into a million pieces as the days go by without seeing you so close to me...?? (*_*)


* runs off, arms flailing, into my secret Yunnie shrine...Miane yunnie!!!

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry

(i wished that it was me yunnie was leaning onto...shhhh, dont tell jae..;p)

i finally remembered what it was that compelled me to research about YunJae resulting in my current obsession over anything Yunjae related.

Its those videos of their interviews i watched in order to get to know DBSK after listening to purple line & mirotic. After watching a few, i realised that those 2 would always, always look at each other whenever they talk or answer the interviewer's questions. I was amazed at the amount of eye contact that they made through out the whole interview. How can i express this immense feeling of adoration and, and love??

You know, whenever i look at the boys wallpaper on my pc, i get this constricting feeling in my chest, i feel happy tapi macam nak nangis. This is the first time i've had this kind of feeling. Even with LP, it wasnt to this extent. Do i need help or is this really what you call....

a fan girl love????

Dun, dun, dunnnnn.....suspense eh?

Anyway, putting aside my crazy love for Yunjae for a minute, right now Im really crazy over Super Junior's Sorry,Sorry song. Its so fucking addictive i tell you. i've been putting it on repeat everytime i listen to it. And the boys look damn cool although i still think Siwon looks greasy ,i've tried to convince myself otherwise but after watching the video for the 4th time, he's still greasy. Ryeowook, Sungmin, Dong Hae and Kyuh hyun look soo cool. Too bad Hankyung & Eeteuk oppa didnt sing much if not we'd get to see more of their faces in the video.. Why??!! they look so damn hot in suits mah... ook, enough of Suju spazzing...

*run off to look for clearer YunJae Nagoya team pix..<3

I HATE HATE HATE YOU YUNNIEE!!!!

OMG!!!OMG!!! OMG!!!!!

i saw the pictures for the seoul mirotic concert and it looked so DAMN GOOD...really menyesal tak simpan duit to go there. But the thing that really pisses me off till i couldnt sleep well last night was the fact that Yunnie, OUR DEAR BELOVED Yunnie, danced a hot sexy number wit a sexy girl in short shirt dress, siap dengan kissing pose as a finale. My heart couldnt take it, felt like being ripped out. That girl even blushed and giggled when she sat on his lap, HIS LAP!!!!! HIS LAP!!!! HIS LAP FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i bet she was gloating inside...

But yunnie looks not so comfortable touching her. i bet he's feeling guilty towards Boojae.. HOW COULD YOU YUNNIE???? why are you doing this to me, boo jae and the rest of your self confessed wives, girlfriends, lovers,etc.. Not fair, im so heartbroken right now that i resorted to reading YunJae fics in order to calm down my nerves. Why Baby WHY??? The only person you can do a sexy dance with is Boo Jae and no one else. No touching of other girls you hear me?? At least not until i find myself a boyfriend to dote over.. and dont tell me you're doing it again for today and tomorrow's concert...pleaseeee nooo my fragile heart cant take it lah.....

my vision of you and me walking down the aisle shattered just like that (no harm dreaming right?) Do you know that you are husband material? I WANT TO MARRY YOU YUNNIE!!!! Actually, it used to be takuya kimura but i found out 2 weeks ago that he's been cheating on his wife, what a player. Haiz, my image of perfect husband material musnah hancur berkecai. Actually, i kinda had a feeling that kimutaku is a flirt/player from the characters he played and his real life character, but it still is too shocking to find out that your dream guy of 8 years would do this kind of thing. Aish....

these few days gonna be unbearable, i dont think i can dream about yunnie since the image of that girl sitting on his lap keeps popping up in my mind!!! damn you!!
*runs off to sulk in the toilet*

sometimes i float away

to somewhere and i dont know if i can come back down to earth. Usually it feels like i've been dragged down into the deep murky nothingness, without ever knowing if i will ever resurface. The only thing waking me up from these endlessly repeating episodes is your soothing voice, calling me, leading me back to sanity and reality. Your fingertips sends sharp jolts of current through my spine, your hypnotizing gaze boring into my eyes, your voice like a lullaby, able to calm the fiercest storms raging within my soul.

you offered your warm hand, which at times i shoved aside out of spite, but most of the time,i will grasp it tightly and hold it to my heart, claiming what is rightfully mine all along. And that smile, it never fails to melt the ice which had somehow formed in those tiny crevices of my heart.

sometimes i wonder if you are an angel in disguise, sent to look over me, to protect me from doing all those stupid and dangerous stuff.

--------------------------------------

i've read too much of those fics where boo was the one who betrayed yunnie. Even though its not real, i cant stand yunnie being betrayed, i cant imagine his disappointed face, its hurting me even more. I really wish i can see more real life YunJae, for the sake of my sanity. Yes, other than work, sleep and eating and other miscellaneous stuff, YunJae is keeping me sane. Nonsense ne? to me its not.

i couldnt continue the above, since im dreaming of something else at the same time, which i'll keep to myself for awhile longer..(^__^) hi hi hi... but that yunjae dream which i still cant seem to recall keeps bugging me, its slowly driving me crazy..and 2 nights ago, i dreamt of us..Yunnie, boo and i..how nice..

Note to self: due to recent rise of high blood pressure victims within the family members/relatives, please take care of thyself. You dont want to end up beign prescribed those pills in 10 years time.

another day wasted~~

another day wasted with switching the pc on and off since its gone all bonkers. No, its not my dell, its the old HP which keeps restarting. Bloody hell my time all wasted trying to plot the dwgs in jpg. I seriously need someone to help restore the idiotic pc back to normal working condition.

anyway, its been tiring. But no worries, i've got yunjae to fill in the emptiness. Hahaha, say what you wanna say but i am a YunJae addict through and through. All this fluff on yunjae, seriously my brain is turning into mush. Some of those fanfictions are really too beautiful till i cried. Its that good, even if you changed the character's names to other people. My point is, well, why do i feel guilty reading those fictions? its not like im a perv right? Its just mindless and harmless fangirling outlet right? Right? All those yaoi stuff, well i tend to skip the hardcore ones, so i just read the fluff ones..yes i know, yaoi is still yaoi..

Haiz...i wonder what Yunnie baby's doing right now. He's soo cute and hot. but these days, i seem to squeal a lot more on junsu and changmin's pix as well. Yati has joined in the squealing too, and at yunho's pix mind you. I was just about to strangle her neck when she squealed at his ichigo mag pix but then i remembered that i had ogled and drooled at jae's pix more than a few hundres times so i guess we're even. But yesterday, we had to squeal quietly at junsu's cutesy pix, you dont wanna know how possessive adik can be over her dolphin boy. the last time i had mistaken junsu for yunho (i know, how stupid can i get kan? but it was mostly yati's fault), she was sulking at me for the whole entire week seh. aish...i wonder what would happen if junsu got a girlfriend. Or worst, if her junki has a girlfriend, ishh, i dont wanna imagine.

_________________________________________________________________

boo

do you remember what i said to you that night?
when you snuggled next to me on the balcony
as we watched the starry night sky?
"its cold out here, hold my hand and i'll never let go"
im sorry i made that promise to you

you knew why my hands were still cold and shaking
even when you held on tightly
so much so that both our knuckles turned white
we both know that you knew about it all along
the unspoken truth always lingers in between us
but we were just afraid to confront it
im sorry that i was too afraid

i couldnt keep up the pretense and the lies
but i couldnt tell you the truth
about those strange monthly trips to god knows where
those discreet calls i took behind the closet door
and the times i closed myself off from you after those calls and trips
im sorry for pushing you away

walking out the door was the last thing i wanted to do
leaving our sanctuary, our haven, our home
where we shared countless heart to heart late night conversations
laughters and giggles over cheesy movies,
even the tears and violent fights over petty jealousies
i wanted those times to last forever but
forever was just not possible

i just had to run away, yes i was a coward
but i was too afraid to see the sadness in your eyes
if it somehow appeases you, those months without you
were so unbearable that i cried myself to sleep
every S.I.N.G.L.E damn day
my purpose was to live with the guilt
as punishment for all those tears you shed
those heartaches, those times you worried
you dont need to know where i was those past few months
it'll just break you heart even more

how have you been lately?
Are you eating well?
have you made more friends at your new workplace?
these are among the million questions i wanted to ask when we meet again
but look where we are now, you're looking down on me
and im looking down at you
or up depending on where i get sent to..haha

im sorry i had to leave,
without a kiss, a bear hug, a cuddle
or even a goodbye, no goodbyes for us, boo
because saying goodbye just makes it seem that everything has ended
this love, OUR LOVE will never end
so just take your time, boo
cos i'll be waiting for you no matter how long it takes

i have always loved you, please remember that
and please smile like you always used to
laugh like you used to
live like you used to when i was with you
please keep our love alive
no matter who you're with in the future

loving you always
Yunnie

ps: dont forget to bring me those white roses whenever you visit..i'll be keeping tabs from up here.

...........................................

you looked down on the stone slab at your feet. The tears just wont stop flowing just like the rain beating down upon your back. Clutching the now crumpled and damp letter tightly in one hand, you placed a bouquet of white roses down on the stone slab with the other. After searching for him for several painful months, this wasnt what you expected. You were expecting him to be on his knees, asking for your forgiveness but all you got was his gravestone staring back up at you. You bend down on your knees, fingering his name etched on the marble slab. You could feel the sobs coming out of your chest again. Crouching down on the gravestone, HIS gravestone, lying with your wet cheeks directly above his name...

"wait for me yunnie, we'll be together again one day...i love you..."

_________________________________________________________________________

how? maybe i need to rework this. haiz..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING!!!!

Dearest Yunho
Happy birthday dude. Hope today you get to celebrate even with your tight schedule. Even though i've been a fan only for a few months, somehow it feels like forever. Hope you'll be happy always no matter what you're doing. Stay healthy always. And i hope you find your true love soon, even though my heart (and other hundreds of fan girls hearts) will break into a million pieces, your happiness is most important. Last but not least, stay sexy and cool always Leader ssi..love ya lots...<3

With love
Diana

ps: i know this is cheesy, only fangirls would understand how i feel.

im not gonna count the hours till midnight....

Yunho

My Goal for 2009
YH: First of all, I'd like to improve my Japanese-speaking ability. Also, I'd like to grow both emotionally and internally. In my private time I'd like to go to Las Vegas! I went before for work, but shooting while looking at the Grand Canyon and the wonderful scenery is something that really remains in my memories!

My Recent Favourite Item


YH: A hat I got from someone, by a brand called "Clover". When I want to look cool I use it to hide one of my eyes a little, and when I want to look cute and fashionable I push the hat to the back of my head and put on glasses. This is something I was taught by a famous fashion editor!

This Is What's Cool About Yunho!
YC: I think the part of him that properly protects his friends is really cool. I love the Yunho that treasures "a man's friendship".

JJ: He's manly! The bigness of all of Yunho's gestures and actions, that kind of thing is really cool. When he sings and when he dances, too.

JS: He's really professional and someone who will do his best and work hard for absolutely anything. I think that's wonderful.

CM: He's manly. He's a person who treasures friendship.

I Want Yunho To Stop Doing This!
YC: Lately it seems like he's been having various problems, and when he's off from work he's not with the members, but is constantly together with his friends. It makes me feel just a little lonely... I've been close to Yunho since the very beginning so I don't take it to heart, but let's contact each other a bit more. Whether it's time to have a meal or time to just talk, let's make more and more of them!

JJ: Sometimes his actions are too big, and when he talks or dances, there are times when he hits the people next to him (laughs)! Yunho totally doesn't notice. I have also been hit by him, a lot of times.

JS: The amount of things he forgets is outrageously huge~! His wallet, cellphone...there's just all sorts of stuff he quickly loses or forgets. The members worry at those times. It's fine since he always finds his things, but it's that kind of, there are so many things he forgets and loses that it's like if he loses everything he might be left with nothing.

CM: It would be good if he tidied up our room just a bit more! It's not just our room, he has this habit of messing things up anywhere he goes~

To Yunho: I Wasn't Able To Say It Before, But I Confess...
YC: Yunho invited me to have a meal with him and his friend who is a Korean entertainer. I promised I would go too, but when I got home I was really tired. I came to feel, "I'm not really in the mood..." and called him to turn him down. I'm sorry for not keeping my promise that time!

JJ: Don't talk on the phone in my bedroom! Yunho doesn't talk on the phone in his own room, he talks while going back and forth, here and there, between the other members' bedrooms and the living room and stuff. Whatever it is, in my bedroom, just don't talk on the phone there!!!!

JS: I know very well that being in the leader's position is really difficult, but...until now and in the future too, you've really done your best and will keep doing your best for Tohoshinki. I am grateful.

CM: I might look like the type of person who doesn't like tidying up, but I am extremely particular about cleanliness! Unexpectedly!! UNEXPECTEDLY!! Yunho scolds me too much for being like that. But I....can't say this to Yunho.

Source and translated by=pinkulemon.

.......................................

omomomo...this is from asianfanatics, i want to put all the rest of the member's interviews but it was so long. since yunnie ssi is my first love, i just gotta be content with this (but i've saved the full interview somewhere..kihkihkih..)

haiz....i've realised i didnt even have a new year's resolution list, which i dont really keep tab onto, so this is my birthday wish list, yar, like whatever lorh wish and resolution mcm takde kene mengene seh...

1) Learn Korean and Japanese (oral and written), this is so that i dont need to search and wait for eng subs for jap dramas and korean variety shows. (which reminds me i've yet to watch Orange days & Dororo)

2) Attend a DBSK concert, aish, i wonder if this will ever happen. I seriously wanna see the boys perform..

3) Buy DBSK photobooks/dvd especially the "vacation in Paris" one...wahlau ehh, yunjae looks super hot during that time seh..

that's all that i can think of right now, stuff like shoes, clothes, psp, etc, etc...even though i really want them, i dont really need them...at times like these, just have to use whatever i have...

oh yeah...actually there's one more thing, i wish for YunJae love to last forever (FYI, this is fangirl wish, if you think im a perv,then buzz off) Sigh, all those YunJae fanfiction still stuck in my mind till all i can think about when people talk about couples and love is YunJae...i know, but its too addictive and then the YooSu couple fanfiction...eishhh, i can just imagine the scenes in my krekot mind...aigoo.......(@__@)

ps: my baby looks so hot in just white tank top and jeans, actually with just plain jeans on (wrong number video!!) he looks super yummy...for once i want to dream of him tonight, pretty please, a pleasant one, for my birthday...PLEASE I BEG OF YOUUUUUU!!!!

pps: im so desperate im gonna read up on yunjae fanfiction in the hopes of dreaming of Yunnie baby tonight...*prays hard*

ppps: i know my mind is so krekot...so shaddup...

dont mention the p word

do you know what dying feels like? If you've ever gotten diarrhoea, then you know what dying feels like. Which reminds me, i cannot eat sweet p***** es at 4 in the morning, especially on an empty stomach.(*__*) by the way im still recovering, and if someone so much as mentions the p word, i swear to you i might just puke. i cant get rid of the taste of it whenever i burped, its like P and gas mixed together to produce a poisonous taste....urgh......

frankly speaking, i dont have the mood to blog since im still feeling like shit, so i'll just update on the overnight east coast picnic next time, with pictures. maybe.

ps: currently reading "the wallflower" manga, damn it that thing is hilarious...but the best is still Skip beat, wonder when the next scan will be online...

my heart's like a broken record...

Note to self: please refrain from checking out the boys pictures every morning before work, lest i want myself to be whining whole day trying to heal the heartache and lovesickness...i love the boys, seriously.

-----------------------------------------

He tried to wipe away the endless tears streaming down her pale face but she took a step back at his extended hand.

"Im sorry..." he said in a low voice, trying hard to suppress his tears by clenching his fists.

She kept whispering "Liar..." over and over again, all the time shaking her head from side to side. The soft breeze blowing against her silky auburn tresses made her look even more beautiful, so beautiful that its blinding him. He stepped forward but she screamed instead, "Dont touch me!!!"

"Please..." he pleaded and grabbed her shoulders. What he received was a tight slap on his left cheek which threw him off balance. As he staggered to face her, he was greeted with the most emotionless expression. She had the look of someone who had lost all hope and faith, in everything. As he opened his mouth to say something, she started laughing. She covered her mouth with her hands and kept on laughing. Stunned by her behavior, he couldn’t move at all as she walked off, leaving him with a hollow laughter which kept ringing in his ears....he dropped down to his knees and before he knew it, he was crying...

And as if to mock him for his mistakes, the sun shone even more brightly showing off the clear blue sky.

…………………………

“So this is what it feels like huh? being shot in the chest..” she thought to herself.

She clutched her chest. Right now there was a gaping hole at where her heart should be. She looked up at him, his red eyes searching for forgiveness in hers. But all she could do was to repeat that word over and over again. That was all that she wanted to say to him.

“Liar, liar, liar…”

After slapping him, causing the tall man to stagger back, she felt numb. There was no disappointment, no hope, no faith, and no anger. None of that existed anymore for her. It was empty, and because of that emptiness, she laughed. She laughed till her cheeks hurt, till those useless bitter tears run down her face for the nth time. Once again, the world around her blurs away. Her feet started moving, away from him.

And on that bright cheerful Sunday morning, the vivid colors of the scenery before her turned to dark hues of grey.

……………………………

in a stupor

ahhh, ottokeh???? too hot, nosebleeds.....
Jae's bday in 3 days time!!!

photo credits: 2uangles + DNBN + ....crap i always forgot to take note

...............................................

the office is in a mess right now, well, actually only the surrounding 1.5m radius around me lah..hah..materials, design books, catalogues, dwgs...u name it, i got it baby..

somewhere earlier this week, i suddenly realised that my left hand (from my elbow to my fingertips) were numb. maybe i leaned too much on my left arm when i do work or when surfing the net. Im starting to wonder whether this happened earlier than when i realised it. its annoying because it feels like my hand is sleeping, its numb-er (is this even grammatically correct?) especially for my pinky and ring finger, feels like they're not mine at all. scary lah i tell you......*__*..maybe should go for checkup??

and these 2 weeks i've been really, really into baek ji youngs' like being shot. Frankly speaking, i thought it was too bleagh when i first listened to it, but when i heard it a few more times, it grew on me, the melody has a bit of faith hill's feel to it. Like being shot, what a powerful song title, sums up all the pain, etc,etc...i dont know how it feels like to break up so i can just imagine it. aish, this song keeps replaying over and over again in my head.

but love, love hurts right? even though its only fan-girl love but..whenever i see their pictures, i feel like...laughing and crying at the same time. Yesh, P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C. but i cant help it, they're just too beautiful, especially YunJae. im embarrassed to admit it but when i saw the YunJae gifs of making Bolero, i blushed. I blushed so hard till i had to cover my face, even though no one is with me...aigoo, im going crazy.....as per mirotic's lyrics..neon naege michyeo~~~

maybe because the smiles that were exchanged were the sweetest ones, its as if time stood still when i saw the looks in their eyes...~~~, ahhh..these fleeting moments make you feel like flying~~

down, down down we go.

Romaji Like Being Hit By A Bullet

chong majun kotcheorom jeongshinee neomu obshi
ooseumman nawaseo keunyang ooseoseo keunyang ooseosseo keunyang
heotalhakeh oosumyeo hanaman moodja haesseo
uri wae hyeohjyeo oddeokeh hyeohjyeo oddeokeh hyeohjyeo
oddeokeh

goomongnan gaseumeh uri chookee heulleo nomchyeo
jababoryeo haedo gaseumuel magado
sonkarak sa eero bbajyeonaka
shimjangee meomchyeodo eereoke ahpuel got gatjin anha
oddeokeh jom haejyeo nal jom chiryohaejyo
eeroda nae gaseum da manggachyeo
goomongnan gaseumee

oneusae noonmoori nado moreugeh heulleo
eerogi shireunde jeongmal shireunde jeongmal shireunde jeongmal
irosoneun neol ddara moojakjeong chocha kasseo
domangchideut kotnun noeui dwiyeseo noeui dwiyeseo
sorichyeosseo

goomongnan gaseume uri chookee heulleo nom chyeo
jababoryeo haedo gaseumeul magado
songarak saeero bbajyeonaga
shimjangee momchyeodo eereoke ahpeul kot gatjin anha
oddeokeh jeom haejyeo nal jeom chiryeohaejyeo
eeroda nae gaseum da mangkachyeo
chong majeun kotchoreom jeongmal kaseumee neomu ahpa
eereoke ahpuende eereoke ahpuende
sal sooga eetdanun geh eesanghae
oddeokeh noreul eejeo naega keuron keot naneun meolla meolla
kaseumee bbong ddeuryeo chaeool soo obseoseo
jooguel malgeum ahpuegiman hae
chong majeun kotchoreom

OMG,seriously........

photocredits: 2uangels & mrtvxq.com

...................................................
yeah, like, seriously, those 2 looking at each other and licking their lips (omg, i sound like a perv here), how can you say there's nothing going on..?

yeah, yeah, im blowing things out of proportion, but let me just savour the fleeting sweetness of YunJae lovin even though its only in my (and all those yunjae fangirls) mind.

seriously, im losing my mind here. geez, why do i sound like an airhead? too much spazzzing i guess. overdose on junsu maybe, since i've been trying to design a cute junsu banner for 4th sis blog...ahh im so proud of my black junsu and my yunjae banner...feeel the looove babyyy...

*staring, staring, staring....GONE

i know this picture is quite old but everytime i look at it, it felt like my heart was squeezed like a lemon,my soul sucked out, soaked in chocolate fudge,covered with thousand island and puffy white marshmellow and.and.and.shoved back in again with fluffy pink,purple and blue cotton candy.

yeah, that's how happy i get.^__^

*screams, covers grinning mouth while shaking head non stop and jumping up and down

photo credits: i think it should be 2uangels, asianfanatics, tvxq, sorry if i got it wrong.

ps: my post title says it all, i dont feel the need to elaborate.
*runs off to gawk at more yunjae love*

here we go again baybeeeh

photo credits=DNBN, 2uangels (sorry i forgot the other source)
...................................................................................

huh? what? oh yeah, today's post actually, nothing to write about lah. life is still monotonous and mundane with the exception of my daily dose of jap drama and korean music (from midnight to wee hours of the morning) Seriously man, i have to get a REAL life.

And why the hell are young kids asking me to add them in msn? this is like the 2nd time. The thing that really pisses me off is their internet language. For god's sake, please lah, you wont die if you type the words in full. And then they have the eu=you kind of crap and they take out all the vowels from the words. Why do you think the vowels were invented? its so we can use them lah idiots. I know i sound like an old auntie but really..ahh,its depressing when ppl want to get to know me but i get all disinterested. maybe i am anti social after all. maybe i just cant stand the stupid internet language now. erghhh..

on a sidenote, watched Lunch Queen, satoshi tsumabuki looks sooo much like Minho (SHINee), im falling for him now, satoshi not Minho ok..and Eita acted a small part in that as well. oh well, i have to remind myself to watch Dororo & Orange days (satoshi's in it as well haha)

i am only human....

OMFS, why oh why do they have to torment me so? You see those pics earlier on? the boys in white suits are killing me softly. How can they look so good in that? Even though i cant stand the pastel colored shirts they're wearing, they still look so damn good. Especially Min, look at those legs that seem to go on forever...GAWD...And then jae touching Min and min looking at whatever he is looking at...grrr..then junsu holding jae's arms...ergh, why isnt it yunho holding jae's arms?? And then jae's face, the eyes, the lips, the nose, the hair screaming out sexy yuki!!!!! And last but not least Yunho ssi, aish, how come he looks so alone in the group pix, like i said jae should be holding his arm instead....

why oh why??? i have been sucked into this hole and i cant turn back...haiz...sadness seh..

by the way, i read Totto chan, the girl sitting by the window. It was amusing, and i kept laughing to myself on the train as i read it. I really felt happy reading it, felt lighthearted as well. Reading about Totto chan's adventures makes me wish i had a childhood like hers.

anyway, tonight, im not going to read fanfiction, im not going to read fanfiction (repeats 1000 times over and over again)

photo credits: hahaha4u.co.kr, DNBN, 2uangels.blogspot.com

OMO!!!!

ok, this is kind of bad news, read on asianfanatics that Yunho, Rain and Taemin are infringing copyright issues due to the illegal use of Justin's song, Magic, for their SBS Gayo Daejun performances. WAE??? How can they not know the song was leaked online? As much as i loved the performances (especially Yunho's dance, so HOT), its still unbelievable that this can happen. What happened to the Pds, editors or those music directors of SBS? Not doing their job properly isit? Wahlau eh...poor yunnie, i hope it wasnt him who directly took the song..

and oooh, jaejoong news, the premise for his drama HEavenly Postman, is about him (Yuu,omg,its like short term for Yuki in fruits basket,what an uncanny coincidence since i think he looks sooo much like that character!!!!) being in a coma after an accident and then was given 2 weeks extra life as Heaven's postman, connecting real world and the dead. But the thing is, only the female protagonist,Hyo Joo(Saki) can see him. Erghhh, i cant wait for it to air. Jae is so hot, that aura surrounding him is so incredible, dont you think so. A lot of cassies would totally agree with me...muahaha, but yunnie is still the best. Alah yunjae is the best lah, since i cant decide on one...Hah

So, still hooked on fanfiction, especially the ones starring yunnie or jae, or sometimes those yaoi ones starring yunjae. No im not a pervert but what if in real life they are like that huh? i.cant.imagine.it!!!!!!!!! i hope these boys find soulmates soon, so that i can move on. i bet if other fans read this i might get cursed upside down..hahaha

kanasai, i wanted to put yunjae pix but blogger has stupid errors...haiz..next time then..

hello 2009

well, new years day was spent at my aunt's house,eating, karaokeing and celebrating a cousin's bday. Yeah, for once, i actually sang a few songs. My suara emas(golden voice) cannot be used so carelessly..HAHA. I think its been a few years since i karaoke in front of people, excluding my mum and sisters lah. I dont know, i just hate the way my voice sounds when i karaoke, its like its someone else's voice. Maybe im just paranoid but i feel like the more i karaoke, the more i lose the 'Me' in my voice, like losing posession of my voice. Argh i dont know how to describe it. like my essence is slowly dissipating from my voice, in turn making it a voice from another being. wait, am i making sense here??!!

im tired mentally, things are happening even though they look like they dont. we are waiting for a timebomb to explode. On the surface it looks calm but underneath, you dont know how strong the current is. AS much as i'd like to confide in someone, i cant stand the thought that it will really come true if i say it out loud. It seems like we are walking down the same road that others have taken. Are we meant to end up like that? everytime i think about this, sadness grips like a vice when this impending reality sinks in. maybe we need to lose something in order to gain something else? Well, nothing is for free right?

on a sidenote, even though i've blogged about this before, i've never believed in marriages. Never can i understand how 2 people from different backgrounds can decide to live together. Love i can understand (well, im sceptical of this as well) but marriage? Pfftt...pish posh...

aish im tired, need to sleep for awhile before i continue on the revised elevation, due later today before noon, can you believe it??...blahdy kanasai...

sometimes im too happy and sometimes im too depressed over the smallest things. but the latter i try to hide it so that only i can experience. Happines should be shared, even though being happy is just to make myself forget. But what is it that i want to forget?