Pissed off, say what you want but im still pissed. I don’t get it, I just don’t get it. I mean, why me? Why is it always me? Anyway, the Theory lecture was about Adolf Loos and the Secessions (is this correct?). About the modern man, ornaments and all that stuff. So, we all found out that Loos is a racist, a fascist and a sicko. How cool is that? Not cool at all. A sicko like that should be put in an asylum. See, I told you that all the artists are weird or sick. That makes them special. But Loos has got to be the blandest, boring and fascist old fart. Thank God he’s dead…. Thank God.
Anyway, the old dude mentioned that we have masks. We, the modern man, cant always say what’s in our mind. The real us is hidden. Im confused right now. I have a mask…. don’t I??? I usually say what’s in my mind. When im pissed or angry, I show it, I never try to hide it. That’s why people always say that im always pissed and I always sulk. So what, they want me to hide it all. Be all nice and sweet. Talk in hushed tones, like Japanese girls (no offense to them). That’s not me. I swear everyday, I shout, I scream, I sulk, I laugh out very loud and I throw insults at people as and when I feel like it. It is wrong to be yourself?? I mean, how else can a person express himself/herself?
Through ART…. Heh, feels like im writing a thesis paper. Yap, backtracking to the part where I said that all artists are either weird or sick (doesn’t it mean the same?). I read the old dude’s book, Theories of Modern Art, and it’s really very useful (I recommend you to get it). It says that the artist expresses himself, hey wait, backtrack again. Im not sure if this is from the old dude’s book. Most probably this is my point of view (hehe….). Freedom of expression through art (not through killing people or all that other shit), every artist has his own way of expressing himself/herself. But the thing is, people seem to have something against the individuals who are really original. Like Van Gogh and Rembrandt, and the art movements such as Dada, the Surrealist and the Futurist (FYI, I don’t like the Futurists at all). Didn’t they realise that these individuals are the ones who bring colour to art and life itself? Why do every thing that other people do? Why buy stuff that others buy? Why do you say what others had said? Hmmm…. What im saying right now could be what someone else has said before…. Woah…
I have a quote from Josep Quetglas. He says “The artist /architect does not control his/her works completely; rather, the artist or architect intuits what he/she wants to say but seldom finds a way of saying it, being, in the end, an instrument, though a relevant one, in the making of a work which he/she only partly governs”. Very deep huh? I guess what it means is that we can’t control what we design. The end result of our works is only a part of what we wanted it to be in our minds. Hmm… im not sure im making sense right now but we cant control what others feel about our works right? Unless…. you point a gun at someone’s temples and tell them to say what you want to hear lah.. Hehe..
I just cant seem to stop talking about art nowadays, haiz…, Im influenced by the Theory lectures. Anyway, I’ve got to continue doing my model right now. Soccer is like, 3 hours from now and I’ve yet to write the 5th issue.. damn.. There’s also the stupid csw and the rhino tutorial.. bloody hell.. haiz.. good luck to me and Happy New Year to you…Ciao…
P.S: I apologise for any discrepancies on subjects relating to the old dude’s Theory
lectures. Some of it is based on my own interpretation and understanding of the
lectures or text. If you’re sick of reading all this stuff, then you are cordially invited
to buzz off! Stay out of my blog!
Friday, December 31, 2004
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
DIsturbed
Damn, I borrowed a lot of books just now. And I can’t believe that Norain called me selenge just because of that. Why?! Damn it, my love for books has gained me the nerd title. Arh…, what the hell….
Anyway, back to the books, it was like hell when I went home just now. My right shoulder felt like dropping off. Really, it was that heavy. Silly me to just accept the Iliad when Norain shoved it in my face….bengap seh…. Wait, I have a confession to make. Hans Bellmer’s stuff is very, very disturbing. I don’t know if I can continue with it. I’m scared, not of writing the theory paper but of what his works will do to me, mentally and spiritually….Sheesh…I’m talking rubbish. But really, it’s very disturbing lah. I hope I don’t get nightmares. Should I ask the old dude if I can change to some other artist? Nah, that would be a stupid thing to do because I proposed Bellmer in the first place. What have I gotten myself into? Don’t answer that please.
Yar….Norain asked me why I like Mies. Hmm… why ar? I don’t really like him, it’s just that the simplicity and the kind of emptiness in his works make me choose him. I want to know why he designed his houses and pavilions that way. Eh, can I change to some other Dada artist? No, Di, no…you can’t back out now….Haiz….
Guess what? Boy is sleeping right now. That darn cat, he always disturbs me at night. He keeps slamming his body at my feet while mauling his stuffed giraffe. And everytime I wake up to slap him, he runs off with it. If he does it again tonight, I’ll either bite his ears off (hey, I’ll be like Van Gogh…) or I’ll slash his precious stuffed giraffe…hah… But he’s sooo cute, he looks like a bat with his big, round, green eyes and his bulging belly….hehe.
Want to know why I’m poring over the library books? I’m trying to forget the fact that Motorola E398 is $38 right now. I’m trying to forget that it has mp3 and camera functions. I’m trying to forget that I want it so badly…I want ‘Hello Moto’!!! Ok, chill Di….Hmm, I wonder what my mum will be bringing back home tonight? I hope its food because I’m famished dude…I could eat a horse, or a cat…hehehehe…. (with an evil grin…) Where’s my precious and scrumptious Boy? Here Kitty, kitty….
Anyway, back to the books, it was like hell when I went home just now. My right shoulder felt like dropping off. Really, it was that heavy. Silly me to just accept the Iliad when Norain shoved it in my face….bengap seh…. Wait, I have a confession to make. Hans Bellmer’s stuff is very, very disturbing. I don’t know if I can continue with it. I’m scared, not of writing the theory paper but of what his works will do to me, mentally and spiritually….Sheesh…I’m talking rubbish. But really, it’s very disturbing lah. I hope I don’t get nightmares. Should I ask the old dude if I can change to some other artist? Nah, that would be a stupid thing to do because I proposed Bellmer in the first place. What have I gotten myself into? Don’t answer that please.
Yar….Norain asked me why I like Mies. Hmm… why ar? I don’t really like him, it’s just that the simplicity and the kind of emptiness in his works make me choose him. I want to know why he designed his houses and pavilions that way. Eh, can I change to some other Dada artist? No, Di, no…you can’t back out now….Haiz….
Guess what? Boy is sleeping right now. That darn cat, he always disturbs me at night. He keeps slamming his body at my feet while mauling his stuffed giraffe. And everytime I wake up to slap him, he runs off with it. If he does it again tonight, I’ll either bite his ears off (hey, I’ll be like Van Gogh…) or I’ll slash his precious stuffed giraffe…hah… But he’s sooo cute, he looks like a bat with his big, round, green eyes and his bulging belly….hehe.
Want to know why I’m poring over the library books? I’m trying to forget the fact that Motorola E398 is $38 right now. I’m trying to forget that it has mp3 and camera functions. I’m trying to forget that I want it so badly…I want ‘Hello Moto’!!! Ok, chill Di….Hmm, I wonder what my mum will be bringing back home tonight? I hope its food because I’m famished dude…I could eat a horse, or a cat…hehehehe…. (with an evil grin…) Where’s my precious and scrumptious Boy? Here Kitty, kitty….
Bored
I'm sooo bored and sleepy...n im...nt sure what to write actually....the studio is like a prison...
im suffocating and im goin loco because of all the lame songs being played...n norain is making weird sounds.... i cant stop laughing out loud...help....so before i die of boredom,or of insanity..
i'd like to say that i love my family so much and that norain really is an asshole....
im suffocating and im goin loco because of all the lame songs being played...n norain is making weird sounds.... i cant stop laughing out loud...help....so before i die of boredom,or of insanity..
i'd like to say that i love my family so much and that norain really is an asshole....
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Sublime...
Gosh, its been awhile since I wrote in. Maybe I should just keep this blogging a 1 month thing??? Anyway, the holiday was bloody boring. I had to amuse myself by cleaning, cooking and finding excuses to get out of the house. Im claustrophobic you know..haha. Now its the 2nd week of school and Im really glad to be back. The only turn off is that we’re continuing the project with the same brand..haiz..yap, I think I’ll be stuck with Origins forever..NOOOO..
damn it..
And to tell you the truth, I’m damn glad that we’re still having the old dude for Theory. I mean, Theory won’t be the same without him, right? Norain would be saying that I’m trying to saka the old dude or something right about..NOW..hahaha. But seriously, I bet this semester’s lectures will be fun because most of it will be on art movements of the past. Yes, the old dude will be talking about Dada, Surrealism, De Stijl and yada, yada, yada. Well, he talked about the Cubists and Futurists (a very anarchic and sexist group I must say) a few days ago, which might be influencing the 5th edition of the AFM (hint, hint).
The Manifesto (I think) by Sant'Ellia was very revolutionary and persuasive. Imagine someone saying that out loud right now, he’ll either be caught for encouraging war and terrorism or for being a nuisance. The old dude was so into the text as he read it to us (the letter where the general wrote of the death of Sant’Ellia)..hehe..he said it really shook him as he read it loudly..It was a bit weird at that time because everyone kept quiet, it was like MAGIC,really, no one really keeps quiet when the old dude talks so this is a once in a lifetime thing. Way to go old dude..hehe..
So I decided to write on Mies and Hans Bellmer for the Theory paper. The old dude gave me a weird look when I said Hans’ name. I think he couldn’t believe what I said. So what if Hans is a misogynist? So what if there’s not much info about him? He’s very interesting in a sort of sick way. His paintings and photos are very provocative. That’s enough to set me thinking of lots of stuff to write about him. It’s just too bad that the library has to close early because of Christmas. If not for that, I would have rushed to the library to get the big surrealist book.
You must be wondering why I’m so excited to write about these two old (or dead) farts. Both of them are weird guys. I think every artist (this sums up architect, painter, sculptor, etc) has their own weirdness about them. It’s like they’re in a world of their own. For example, Kurt Schwitters with his Merzbau and Van Gogh with his cut out ear, both of them seem to be in seclusion (Im not sure about Van Gogh though). I wish I could be like that. Well, not the cutting of the ear lah but being in your own world kind of thing. Before I forgot, let me add Gaudi to the list of weird artists. People still don’t know the reason for the Sagrada Familia being the way it is. It seems as though Gaudi meant for it to be talked and discussed upon years after his death. What the hell was he thinking when he designed the cathedral? Hmm..
What else do I want to talk about before this Radiohead’s album is over? Oh yeah, it has occurred to me that everyone is out to get me. Im not kidding, the culprits are the people in my cubby, and the old dude too. Call me paranoid but Norain keeps stepping on my shoe, kicking my leg and Colleen keeps bullying me. Why me? Why? Just because I dont look stable (all thanks to my messy hair) and I have the stoned look (Im having difficulty falling asleep nowadays), it doesnt mean that they have to target me. Haiz..Its so difficult being popular..
Hahaha..think I'd better sign off now before more nonsense comes out..Ciao..
damn it..
And to tell you the truth, I’m damn glad that we’re still having the old dude for Theory. I mean, Theory won’t be the same without him, right? Norain would be saying that I’m trying to saka the old dude or something right about..NOW..hahaha. But seriously, I bet this semester’s lectures will be fun because most of it will be on art movements of the past. Yes, the old dude will be talking about Dada, Surrealism, De Stijl and yada, yada, yada. Well, he talked about the Cubists and Futurists (a very anarchic and sexist group I must say) a few days ago, which might be influencing the 5th edition of the AFM (hint, hint).
The Manifesto (I think) by Sant'Ellia was very revolutionary and persuasive. Imagine someone saying that out loud right now, he’ll either be caught for encouraging war and terrorism or for being a nuisance. The old dude was so into the text as he read it to us (the letter where the general wrote of the death of Sant’Ellia)..hehe..he said it really shook him as he read it loudly..It was a bit weird at that time because everyone kept quiet, it was like MAGIC,really, no one really keeps quiet when the old dude talks so this is a once in a lifetime thing. Way to go old dude..hehe..
So I decided to write on Mies and Hans Bellmer for the Theory paper. The old dude gave me a weird look when I said Hans’ name. I think he couldn’t believe what I said. So what if Hans is a misogynist? So what if there’s not much info about him? He’s very interesting in a sort of sick way. His paintings and photos are very provocative. That’s enough to set me thinking of lots of stuff to write about him. It’s just too bad that the library has to close early because of Christmas. If not for that, I would have rushed to the library to get the big surrealist book.
You must be wondering why I’m so excited to write about these two old (or dead) farts. Both of them are weird guys. I think every artist (this sums up architect, painter, sculptor, etc) has their own weirdness about them. It’s like they’re in a world of their own. For example, Kurt Schwitters with his Merzbau and Van Gogh with his cut out ear, both of them seem to be in seclusion (Im not sure about Van Gogh though). I wish I could be like that. Well, not the cutting of the ear lah but being in your own world kind of thing. Before I forgot, let me add Gaudi to the list of weird artists. People still don’t know the reason for the Sagrada Familia being the way it is. It seems as though Gaudi meant for it to be talked and discussed upon years after his death. What the hell was he thinking when he designed the cathedral? Hmm..
What else do I want to talk about before this Radiohead’s album is over? Oh yeah, it has occurred to me that everyone is out to get me. Im not kidding, the culprits are the people in my cubby, and the old dude too. Call me paranoid but Norain keeps stepping on my shoe, kicking my leg and Colleen keeps bullying me. Why me? Why? Just because I dont look stable (all thanks to my messy hair) and I have the stoned look (Im having difficulty falling asleep nowadays), it doesnt mean that they have to target me. Haiz..Its so difficult being popular..
Hahaha..think I'd better sign off now before more nonsense comes out..Ciao..
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Oh my God...
What the hell!!!! I stayed up until 1 am just to watch Arsenal get beaten by Man Utd...What shit man....Man Utd palyed rough, they cheated especially Van Nistelrooy...Oh i felt like strangling him when he pushed and hit Ljungberg,or was it Ashley? Huh, cant remember...stupid, F**king referee,he kept giving stupid yellow cards to arsenal players....What the HELL man...God, im soo pissed....Ok i think t'd better stop ranting on hte stupid, unfair match with the F**king Man Utd.
Hate Nistelrooy to the core man......
Ok....i've thought about this all the time and i really have to write it down, well, about life, death and dreams....Yup...i feel that life is a very vicious cycle..hey,you know what, i dont have the philosophical mood right now...im soo exhausted man...i'll write in when im feeling more fresh...
Ciao....
Hate Nistelrooy to the core man......
Ok....i've thought about this all the time and i really have to write it down, well, about life, death and dreams....Yup...i feel that life is a very vicious cycle..hey,you know what, i dont have the philosophical mood right now...im soo exhausted man...i'll write in when im feeling more fresh...
Ciao....
Friday, October 22, 2004
What the F.....
hey...today could be counted as the worst day of my f**king life. Imagine having to think of your concept panels, your F**king RWP ppt wich my group has not done yet and having to think of what time to go home and what to cook for the blahdy people at home. Im soooooo sorry for shouting at junxian but he should have asked norain and not me.......yar...now everyone will hate me for shouting at them but they dont know that im having a hell of a time coping with stuff at home and school. What is it with people....just because im nice they expect me to be nice all the time is it? I have my f**king problems and i have to think of people's feelings? Who cares about mine?
Yes...i admit that i do get pissed or hurt when people shout at me for no reason(Cos i always do that to others) but i dont keep it in mind cos i know, everyone has their bad and good moods.....I know im not perfect....im not trying to be perfect...i know that i scream at people and i always hurt their feelings but i DONT MEAN IT.......If i dont like the person, i will not talk to the person at all.......
And i dont get what's up with that blahdy bitchy f**king 2nd sister of mine....she expects me to cook and she doesn't help.....and she got the cheeks to eat the food that i cook when she had stayed cooped up in her room playing gameboy....She thinks im her maid....F**k off man...i hope she fails her F**king N level....I mean it...she doesn't treat me like her big sister at all....One day im gonna give her a tight slap on her UGLY face and she's gonna regret raising her voice at me,
Tell you something, im the nicest sister in the world ok,Im not kidding...i cook for my younger sisters cos i love them(except for my 2nd sis) and i dont want them to go hungry.....im sorry that i cant help them with their homework and im sorry that i cant spend time talikng to them...Im sorry that i cant be a better big sister.....
I cant stand being in this family any longer..they expect me to think of them when they never think of how i feel at all...Mom and dad always expect me to be there...what if i die 1 day, who else is gonna take care of them?I cant always be there...I've got school to think about...i've got my own dreams...why do i have to put family in the 1st place....I want freedom from all this responsibility...its not fair cos they're heaping all the troubles at me...Why am i the oldest daughter...y do i have to be a girl in the first place?
Im praying to God every day, so that i can tahan all the crap that i get from the people around me.Im gonna make it big some day and im gonna leave all the shit behind...even if the shit is my family.....call me ungrateful but if i list all the blahdy things that had happened to me..you'll change your mind dude.....
Last words....im gonna buy a penthouse someday and live far, far, far away from my family(of course i'll send mum and dad money) and im gonna live alone...yes...peace at last...nirvana...
So shoot me if i dont achieve this dream of mine.....
Yes...i admit that i do get pissed or hurt when people shout at me for no reason(Cos i always do that to others) but i dont keep it in mind cos i know, everyone has their bad and good moods.....I know im not perfect....im not trying to be perfect...i know that i scream at people and i always hurt their feelings but i DONT MEAN IT.......If i dont like the person, i will not talk to the person at all.......
And i dont get what's up with that blahdy bitchy f**king 2nd sister of mine....she expects me to cook and she doesn't help.....and she got the cheeks to eat the food that i cook when she had stayed cooped up in her room playing gameboy....She thinks im her maid....F**k off man...i hope she fails her F**king N level....I mean it...she doesn't treat me like her big sister at all....One day im gonna give her a tight slap on her UGLY face and she's gonna regret raising her voice at me,
Tell you something, im the nicest sister in the world ok,Im not kidding...i cook for my younger sisters cos i love them(except for my 2nd sis) and i dont want them to go hungry.....im sorry that i cant help them with their homework and im sorry that i cant spend time talikng to them...Im sorry that i cant be a better big sister.....
I cant stand being in this family any longer..they expect me to think of them when they never think of how i feel at all...Mom and dad always expect me to be there...what if i die 1 day, who else is gonna take care of them?I cant always be there...I've got school to think about...i've got my own dreams...why do i have to put family in the 1st place....I want freedom from all this responsibility...its not fair cos they're heaping all the troubles at me...Why am i the oldest daughter...y do i have to be a girl in the first place?
Im praying to God every day, so that i can tahan all the crap that i get from the people around me.Im gonna make it big some day and im gonna leave all the shit behind...even if the shit is my family.....call me ungrateful but if i list all the blahdy things that had happened to me..you'll change your mind dude.....
Last words....im gonna buy a penthouse someday and live far, far, far away from my family(of course i'll send mum and dad money) and im gonna live alone...yes...peace at last...nirvana...
So shoot me if i dont achieve this dream of mine.....
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
What a shame....
Yup...what a shame...i couldn't finish my model on time...i feel kinda numb fight now....i feel like crying but what's the use?Like what norain said,the old FOD might be laughing at us now...haiz... think i'll heal my broken heart,my hurt pride in the toilet later....my dream of seeing my model completed is just a dream...it will be such a disgrace during presentation...imagine me with a half done model...The HORROR........klah....like i said...i have to go for the healing tretment now...
ciao.....
ciao.....
Saturday, October 16, 2004
The Beginning....
Hey...today is the fasting month...Im feeling kinda blue today...Haiz...i dont feel like thinking much(well,im not thinking much anyway) but it suddenly occured to me in the bus ride just now, how fake my life is,how fake i am...everything i am and was is a farce..Hehe,you must be thinking that i've lost it completely yar?But who cares about what you think?Definitely not me..
I mean, there's so many layers to the facade that im putting that im not sure now which is the real me?Is the nasty,sarcastic,foul mouth girl the real me or the quiet,shy(yes...this im not kidding...) and...what else..haiz...i dont know lah...But am i putting up a facade in the first place?
I dont think so..Really, im showing myyself as i truly am to others...I never lie about myself, about how i feel...i think im not making sense right now.
Anyway, i was standing at the train station at je..it was so crowded and everyone was rushing to get in the train(except me as usual) and right then,i felt like laughing out loud at all those idiots.
Those idiots or rather clowns who are trying their very best to fit in the damn train. HAHAHA to them all.....and i felt like lying down in the middle of the platform...i feel like mocking them...i feel like denying the existence of work...ok..im scaring myself now...i'll write in when i've fully recovered from this state of paranoia,depression and not to forget...what is it? Insanity? Ciao...
I mean, there's so many layers to the facade that im putting that im not sure now which is the real me?Is the nasty,sarcastic,foul mouth girl the real me or the quiet,shy(yes...this im not kidding...) and...what else..haiz...i dont know lah...But am i putting up a facade in the first place?
I dont think so..Really, im showing myyself as i truly am to others...I never lie about myself, about how i feel...i think im not making sense right now.
Anyway, i was standing at the train station at je..it was so crowded and everyone was rushing to get in the train(except me as usual) and right then,i felt like laughing out loud at all those idiots.
Those idiots or rather clowns who are trying their very best to fit in the damn train. HAHAHA to them all.....and i felt like lying down in the middle of the platform...i feel like mocking them...i feel like denying the existence of work...ok..im scaring myself now...i'll write in when i've fully recovered from this state of paranoia,depression and not to forget...what is it? Insanity? Ciao...
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Haiz...
Woah....finally i get to change my blog template....thank god!It was so lame last time.Anyway,tonight im stuck in the studio with the AFM members...hehehe...with the honorary member too...I've just finished my 2d drawings and my RWP(well not really for RWP) At last...after much brainstorming (or mind mapping as d FOD says it) i have finished,its completed...yeah...But the sad thing is i havent bought the materials for the model..--..Maybe i should ask my dad for money now...hmm??By the way,this afternoon's TOD lecture was the nicest seh(maybe because its the last lecture..heh)The old FOD made another mistake again..instead of saying 'thought', he said 'chot'...Hahahaha...that was soo funny..it was closhing last time...hehe..And norain made another lame joke again...heh,cheesy n lame joke...but the worst lame joke was the centrepoint joke...my god...how lame can you get norain?Hehe...just kidding ar....Ok...i'll write in when im not busy, well,mostly because norain wants me to accompany her to the toilet(she's scared of the dark actually...hehe..) Ciao..
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