i wish i had snuffleophagus?

is this punishment for all the naughty things i did this year?? Every single stupid thing that can happen will happen/has happen this month. And im sitting here stuck between wanting to bawl my eyes out or laughing whilst rolling on the floor. Yes, that's how extreme the emotions are. No, im NOT HAPPY and im definitely NOT looking forward to this year's 'celebration' or whatever you happy happy joy joy people call it.

Let's just hope i get to fast for the last 3 days before raya, at least ade sikit semangat raya.

Are we destined to end up like the rest of the clan? Like them ,and them and 'them' as well, though i dont like to be associated with 'them' at all. Is this a sign telling you to have the courage to break free? im behind you 100% and i know its going to be hard but if all those people can make it, why cant we? Of course, its going to have a big impact in our lives, but im still waiting for you to clearly state the direction that we should go, before i lead the way. and breaking free is what im aiming for, if its the best solution for everyone. I hope my silence will make you think and decide for yourself and them on what's next.

the reasons and the way people change for the worst is very disturbing and amusing. you start to wonder when did you go wrong and what have you done to be treated so badly like that. And then you wonder whether the changed person has had a brain transplant or has their brains removed in the changing process. People should change for the better as they get older, not for the worst. But we humans have a knack of really driving off course, which results in a lot of people getting hurt.

Am i making sense?

sanso gateun nuh...

wakakakaka.....i nicked these pics from other people. Sorry, but when you have a craving for a perfect jawline, smouldering eyes, crooked sharp nose complete with a sexy/smiling but kind of sulking at the same time lips, you dont really care about other things. Oooooh, i LOVE LOVE LOVE this very first pix, the lips part...hah

She called this morning, and i can hear the nervousness in her voice, nobody was there to accompany her for the checkup at NUH. I couldnt take leave because of my deadline and i feel really bad about it. And when she called me back about 2 hours later, she sounded tired. Next friday kene pergi x-ray and then on the 10th another follow up. They are suspecting she has stones in her bladder or she might have some cancerous growth, kidney failure, etc. Sigh, i dont know how to react, its between incredulousness and shock. Nothings confirmed yet so we'll just pray hard its not serious.

But its got me thinking seriously, about donation of kidneys and stuff. What if a family member, close relative or a close friend needs blood/kidney etc? Will i have the courage to donate no matter what the end result might be? Yes im slightly afraid of needles, cant stand the thought of that thing poking through my skin and sucking my blood out. But i can watch other people get their injection, at least i think i can. Anyway, that's besides the point.

What if?

What will i do then?

badigol betul

babi siol, bingit betul aku nari, dahlah kene marah tadi pasal aku misplace the names proposal, dahtu banyak lagi kene edit. Citot seh, kene buat 2 scheme, bukan aku sengaje lambat buat tapi takde feel. Aku tau dari 2 minggu lepas aku cakap aku takleh pikir tapi memang betul otak nie tak dapat nak feel, macam tin kosong tau tak.

kau mane tau? orang lain semua mane tau, tau nak paksa pinjam duit ajer lepas tu nak marah aku pulak. Pegi mampus lah, kau ingat kau sorang jer takde duit? Dahla tak puasa, nak sakitkan hati orang yang puasa pulak. Sedarlah diri tu sikit oi, manusia, manusia. Tahap kesabaran dan kewarasan aku sudah nak dekat minimum ni, silap hari bulan...meletup semua. and when that time comes, dont say that i've been influenced and that aku nie da besar kepala, kau tu yang da biol, kau tu yang da tak tau nak fikir. You should take a look in the mirror and really see how idiotic you are now, wait , you cant, you are already so very blinded by your own stupidity's reflection.

Anyway, there's 13 more days to raya. We havent really done the hari raya shopping since everyone is waiting for my pay. I really hate being the oldest sometimes. You have to lead, listen, obey, talk, work hard, blah, blah, blah. But who am i to complain lah kan? Other people are worst off.

Yesterday i was feeling very happy bila goreng cucur udang, buat air cincau, buat jelly peach for buka puasa. Dah lama betul tak work in the kitchen, it feels so nice. When im independent one day(ada rumah sendiri), i'll set aside a whole day to just cooking and baking food. Ahhh, that'll be blissful. That's what you call life.

kawaii ne?

Wahaha...pretty boys who dance really good makes me feel a little bit happy today, lagipun there's only half an hour to buka puasa, siapa yang takkan happy ne?

These boys can really dance, Taemin is THE BEST, so slick, sampai aku tersqueal like a pig everytime i watch the video. kesian eh?

Aku dah tak kuasa nak tulis benda sedih2, benda menyakitkan hati, benda yang aku nak tapi tak dapat2, had enough of it in real life, dont want to read it back in the blog, jadi blog aku sekarang will be full of entries on korean boy bands, japanese animes and serials and of course pictures of cute boys/men. Running away from reality? Maybe, who cares? Aku nak tengok MV diorang lagi..weeeee

akaiki= sick of; bored (with)

Doushite?????? Out of all nightmares to have, actually day-mare lah kan, since it was around 7plus in the am, i had to dream about that. Ergh, i get goosebumps thinking about it. People say that when you have a bad dream, you cant tell it to anyone because it might come true but i really gotta get it out of my system man. Is this really a look into the future or just the devil playing tricks on me since i didnt want to bangun on time for work and i had also miss subuh prayers? Yes, aku mengaku, aku memang tak guna.

But why the hell lah kan, in this dream aku bole lupa yang aku puasa dan aku terus makan kuih depan orang ramai, lepas tu bole siap minum teh peng. Tsk, tsk, tsk.... bile nak dekat habis teh tu baru aku realise yang aku puasa, terus terbangun. Kelam kabut aku pegi keje tadi. Tapi bile ingat balik HYD, aku tersenyum sorang macam kerang busuk.

by the way, aku ada terbaca some blogs from malaysian bloggers and ada rasa tak puas hati jugak lah. The way some of them blog about us malay singaporeans, they're implying that we are ketinggalan, tak maju, or something like that lah. Actually, aku nak jugak berdebat pat sini tapi memandang kan bulan puasa, dan soal malaysia & singapura agak sensitif walaupun kita ni berjiran, lebih baik lah i keep my feelings and thoughts to myself.

Sesungguhnya aku berpuasa, dan masih berkerja...Ittai...:(

Bakayaro!!!!!!!!!!!

yalah, bodoh seh perempuan tu pergi choose the eldest instead of the 3rd brother. WTH kan? dahlah selenge bacin, with that spaced out smile plastered across his face and his only response was always "Ah, soka." Baka. But i think its obviously the 3rd brother's fault for missing out on his chance, he blew it in the first place by playing that joke on her thus creating an opening for the baka. Ish....geramnye, and he looked so sad, well, not that sad lah cos the girl was belo as well. Sajak lah si belo dengan si bengap. If he had asked me "can it be me?" i would definitely say yes..wahahahahha. By the way, im talking about hinimitsu no hanazono..... rating 5/10, only hongo kanata and kaname jun were cute, but hongo's character was cool, for a kid.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gasp, i just saw a pix of matsumoto kun posing with a girl, topless, for a magazine.....wahlau eh, heart pain seh, i gotta erase that image from my mind, begone you personification of evil, begone, shooh.....:(

Sabar, Di sabar...

tapi bile tengok gambar nie, all my worries melt macam butter....sigh...sesungguhnye aku berpuasa.

Hontoni?

running off towards the open door with someone leading you in front and one hand holding onto your train of dress.....and this is during the wintertime, when its snowing.

im sure every one would imagine something like this..

And after watching that jap serial, that scene will be permanently stuck in my mind...haiz.. Isnt there any other serials which dont involve the couples marrying in the end? The optimism is getting boring.

Bulan untuk banyak bersabar

I was this ( ) close to throwing my slippers at those B*** for just cutting queue when i was waiting for a cab this morning. I know lah that there's no bloody taxi stand at Teban but please lah a*******, use your brain, you guys already saw me standing there and yet each of you spineless masochistic brainless males decide to stand 5 feet away from me. What the hell kan? Of course lah the taxi wont stop since im in the middle!!! Ka****, you guys should be grateful its the fasting month, i swear i would've have cursed you inside out and picked a fight with you then and there. Seriously man, men these days are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo super egocentric. It is so rare to find a guy, a stranger to hold a door open for you. Its just plain gentlemanly attitude to hold open a door for a girl/woman.

So, bila aku tengah layankan frust sambil dengar lagu korea, aku tak dapat suppress a smile bila dengar lagu SS501. Ahhh, so fresh, haha. At least umur dorang sebaya aku, kalau Shinee lain lah, umur budak2 sekolah menengah, tapi lagi fresh i tell you. Their live performance pat Music Bank (channel KBS world), fuyoo, the dance moves were so sleek i felt like a teenager gushing over them in front of the tv.

Dan disebabkan manga Hana Yori Dango, aku masih ketandusan idea. Dah nak dekat basi, sejak dari minggu lepas, otak aku betul2 buntu. And this is very the dangerous, especially in my field of work. Serius giler nie, everything i churn out is starting to look the same, so much so that even i am scared to draw out anything right now. Argh, otak aku macam nak pecah nie, i cant always expect boss to help me with the brainstorming. I have to LOVE this concept, it needs to have SOUL. Sudahlah, aku nak research lagi..bosan betul seh.

yoohooh

Babi lah, i just posted an entry on my undying love and affection for SS501 but it disappeared due to an error??


Kanasai


Anyway, below is for your or actually MY viewwing pleasure...Droolzzz......

nak balik....

ahhh....fresh boys...so cute, so fresh, so yummy.... yeah, SS501, my fave has got to be the leader, HyunJoong. The latest episode from We Got Married, where he and Buin had their 'wedding photoshoot' was really super cool. i love the shots. More than Crown J and In Young's wedding shots.

............................................

im sorry, was drooling....avid fans of these boys would agree with me. Well, this was so random and so takde makne...