love and honor

just finished watching the movie earlier on on Okto, starring takuya kimura and a few others whom i cant remember their names. Ahh, as usual, kimutaku looks hot even with the samurai hairstyle. There's just something about that man that makes him so charismatic. And he always manages to put a bit of himself into the character/role he plays. Kimutaku fans would know especially if they've watched Beautiful life, Pride and a few others.

So, im slowly getting over my unhealthy obsession over DBSK. This is not to say that i dont like them anymore but its getting tiring to be too gaga over them. Yes, i will spazz from time to time over their pictures. Somehow, its like waking up from a dream. Bintang pat langit tu jauh sangat, try as i might to reach out, its still unattainable. But i wonder when will they ever come to singapore.

Sigh, 2009 will be in 2 days time? I have no idea what to expect and what to look forward to. yawnzz...time to sleep and dream of kimutaku...hehe

Orion- Nakashima Mika

OSt from Ryuseii No Kizuna..Nice show......though both Ryo and Kaname jun's hairstyle sucks..that guy from arashi, his acting wasnt that bad at all..maybe better than matsumoto jun's...

happiness is a warm gun baby

Actually i woke up today with a really fresh feeling, as though everything's alright. But then the good feelings were gone in an instant. Yeah, lets blame it on that monthly thing.

Anyway, im SO gonna get the DBSK calendar set AND the 2009 Singles magazine with them on the cover. That is when i get my pay lah, which is like, what? Next week? Sigh. Waiting is torture. Look at them, they look so happy, while i feel like crap here. Even looking at their pictures is doing nothing to lift my spirits.

if only this was true

The Boyfriend Quiz by quagix
Your Name:
His Name:
He fell in love with your:	Laugh
He loves your:	Shyness
You love his:	Smile
Together, you enjoy:	Playing computer games
His secret:	He loves romantic-comedies.
He likes it when you:	Are happy.
He thinks about you:	Most of the time.
You'll see him:	Tomorrow.
You'll be together for:	-ever!
Overall, your love is:	Touching.

Pigon haeyo

yes, im tired...HAIZ...i wonder when can i get a break. Looks like its confirmed that i'll have to work tomorrow as well, on a lovely Sunday. in any case, im still gonna go jogging tomorrow since we skipped out on it last week. But i bet it'll be nicer to jog in Banaue as the air over there is so clean and cool..

below are just some photos which i kinda forgot to post earlier on. Haiz....

i think im losing my mind

ahhh, 3rd sis told me that nampyon has added her into his myspace list and i was a bit miffed till i couldnt sleep after that. Yes, jealousy reared its ugly head even though i know for a fact that it might not really be nampyon checking his account. wae nampyon, wae?

So, i kind of had a REAL weekend since saturday was spent slogging in office the whole day for the 3d. Sunday, really lepak at home and i even managed to take a 3 hour nap!!! Haha, i havent done that for so long. i miss my sunday naps. Anyway, how did we spend our Hari Raya Haji? Well, we went to visit the cemetery, early in the morning and it was raining.. Imagine a sad and sorry bunch shivering under the umbrellas, saying really short prayers and then rushing back into the van. Sejuk giler seh tangan bile tengah tabur bunga, air hujan macam air batu.

Later we hung out at Mak Itam's house, eating, chatting, the adults karaoke while we had a round of scrabble and monopoly. Then i took a 2 hrs nap since it was freakin cold, we were wearing sweaters and jackets btw. And then, jeng, jeng, jeng, watched pops in seoul and music bank, ade DBSK, performing wrong number. You know, the one where Changminnie teased everyone with that to die for smirk? Ahaha, and to see nampyon's face after a nap, aish...i fell in love again for the hundredth time.

I dont know, maybe its just me but somehow, this feeling just cant seem to subside. Its overflowing, membuak, overwhelming and im about to burst. I know its not ever going to happen, not in this lifetime anyway but somewhere inside, there's a faint glimmer of hope and faith. Everyday seems a bit brighter knowing that we are looking at the same blue sky. Aishiteru yunnie ssi...<3 (fyi this is a fangirl monologue, puke all you want, i dont give a damn)

ps: you are slowly creeping into each corner and crevice, and suddenly, BAM!!

Update= i received a message from Jae Oppa! Oppa replied my msg! OMO! OMO! i cant believe it so i kept re reading it. Most probably its just a role player but i'd rather bask in this denial man. Ahhhhh, he read my message!!! Im so gonna faint again! muahahahaha

lets run away yunnie...

had quite an interesting chat with the cab driver earlier on, talking about how long frozen chicken are kept before being sold to the public and even the fishes being treated with chemicals? and then the conversation jumped to me not looking like a malay and then marriages with youngsters who likes to fight. The uncle must have been really bored, or he would've gotten the hint that i was not in the mood to talk due to my uhuh/ehem responses.

got lectured again, i agree with what you say, im losing it and im losing my mind. i wonder if everything will start to go downhill from here. where DO we go from here?

and at times like these, you just want somebody to lean onto and to hold your hand.

La La La La~Chinguyoh~

I saw this and i couldnt help but laugh all the way even in my sleep. Look at Yunho ssi's arms, why does it seem to get more muscular everytime he makes an appearance?? Haiz, my nampyon is so manly and selenge at the same time. aigoo...so hard to resist.



Anyway, yesterday has been a day full of surprises. A friend sms me out of the blue, then i was told to delete pictures of the site that we're moving into and another filipino mistook me for being a filipino. And then, while giving out free consultation to my soulmate buddy, someone switched on something in my brain, and i even told boss like i had some sort of epiphany. hahahaha.

Seriously, i felt like i havent been loving myself well lately. So many things to accomplish and so many places to go, i cant just let it all end up in crap. I know my dreams are big but its not impossible at all. Maybe im just rebelling since everyone is expecting something from me even though they're not saying it. Childish right? Ahh, those childhood dreams, they ARE attainable. And one day i CAN do it. Ahh, i'm gonna enjoy this happy mood while it lasts.. have a nice weekend Di.

Untuk tatapan peminat giler

Forgotten Season

Siwireui (Siwolre) majimag bameul
Tteutmoreul iyagiman namginchae
Uri neun he-eo jyeot jiyo
Geu nal-eul ssil ssil haetdeon peupjeongi
Geodaeeul jinsil ingayo
Hanmadi byeonmyeongdo mothago
Itheojyeoya haneun geon-gayo
Eonjena dul-ah oneun gyejeoreun
Na ege ggum eul jujiman
Ireul su eoptneun ggum-eun seulpeoyo narul ul-lyeoyo

TRANSLATION
I still remember the last night of October,
We separated after leaving indefinable words,
Was your gloomy face, the truth?
Will I have to forget you without even trying to explain?
The returning seasons give me dreams,
Yet, impossible dreams are sad; they make me cry

This is for my 3rd sister aka the Frog, who's a big fan of Jae oppa, and who doesnt mind me liking him and spazzing over him even though i've pledged my undying devotion of Yunnie-ssi..heh




i guess they're still having the SM town concert at bangkok even with the protests going on. As much as i'd love it to be postponed to next year, i hope it'll still go on for those other lucky fans who da siang2 beli tiket. Of course im still jealous, but there's always a next time. Man, i really wish they'd come to Singapore, even if for a photobook signing or whatever. Yunho-ssi, im still waiting

DONT FORGET TO BREATHE!!!!

Changminnie was so cute at the last part, just look at that smirk, haaaaa, soo cute, teasing the fans. Dun nid to say anything about Junjae, they are always hot.



Note to self= DONT FORGET to BREATHE when watching the video.

work_work_work

Been dropping by the TM site so frequently these few days its pissing me off to no end. Work, i feel like work sucks right now due to the fact that i have to keep revising my design for the sake of other people. I really dont want to end up hating my job just because the landlord has some 'issues' with the way i design. Ahh, what's a girl to do at these situations.

And seriously, i HATE taking the train, really hate it, i cant stand being packed like sardines in a train full of people and the driver keeps braking. I dont know if i hate the crowd or i hate spending stupid 45 mins trying to sleep while ignoring the presence of people.

Then i was advised to increase/widen/expand my social circle/friends. Which leads to the question, Am i anti social? i dont think so but i find hard to follow since im more of the homely person and seldom go out BUT i'll try to drop by museums, libraries and bookstores more often.

Im still crazy over Mirotic, there's only one thing to describe the lyrics, MAGIC! Its like the boys are saying that they have got us(their fans lah), under their skin...Wahahaha, memang betul pun.

Mirotic TRANSLATION:
From the start you were sweet and simply attracted to me
You’d stay always like that; you said when you were first walked up to me
All the possibilities opened up, Oh-

What is love? What! Right now it is Red Ocean
I’m breaking my rules again. You know it’s getting boring?
You do get hurt a little bit, it’s alright Oh-

*You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me
You can’t break out, I got you - Under my skin
You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me
You are my slave, I got you - Under my skin

It nests in your head, the sharp stare
It’s not me, my unmoving Chrome Heart
This is your choice, Oh-

Flowing through your veins running through you are millions of my Crystal
Finally, the end of transformation
This must be love? Oh-

Repeat*

In you dream I order you under my magic spell
You want to do it again, I got you - Under my skin
My devils ride, you now don’t have a place to breathe
Let’s have fun now that I got you - Under my skin

*You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me
You can’t break out, I got you - Under my skin
You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me
You are my slave, I got you - Under my skin

동방신기 - 주문 (MIROTIC)
Dong Bang Shin Gi - Ju-Mun [MIROTIC]


Si-jak-eun dal-k’um-ha-ge, p’yeong-beom-ha-ge na-e-ge ggeul-ryeo
Eon-je-na geu-ratt-deu-shi meon-jeo mal-eul gyeol-eo-wa
Mo-deun ga-neung-seong yeol-eon-dweo Oh~

Sa-rang-eun mweo-da? Mweo-da! i-mi su-suk-eo Red ocean
Nan, breakin’ my rules again al-janh-a ji-ru-han-gyeol?
Jo-geum da-ch’yeo-do neon, gwaen-ch’ahn-a Oh-

Neon na-reul weon-hae neon nae-ge bba-jyeo neon nae-ge mi-ch’yeo
He-eo-nal su eob-seo I got you - Under my skin
Neon na-reul weon-hae neon nae-ge bba-jyeo neon nae-ge mi-ch’yeo
Neon na-eui no-ye I got you - Under my skin

Ne meo-rit sok-eul p’a-go-deu-neun nal-k’a-ro-un nun-bit
Na a-ni-go-seon, um-jin-i-ji-du anh-neun Chrome Heart
Ne-ga seon-t’aek-han gil-in-geol Oh-

Hyeol-gwan-eul t’a-go heu-reu-neun su-eok gae-eui na-eui Crystal
Ma-ch’im-nae shi-gan-doen byeon-shin-eui ggeut’-eun-na
I-geot-do sa-rang-eun a-nil-gga? Oh-

Repeat *

Han-beon-eui k’i-seu-wa ham-gge ~ nal-i seon-deut-han ~ gang-han i-ggeul-ling
Du beon-eui k’i-seu, p’eu-geob-ge t’eo-jyeo-beo-ril jyeot gat’-eun ne shim-jang-eul
Yeah ~ neo-reul ga-jyeo-sseo You know you got it!
Yeah ~ Come on! Come on! I got you - Under my skin

Ne ggum sok-e nan neol ji-bae-ha-neun ma-beob-sa nae ju-mun-e
Neon da-shi geu-ryeo-ji-go i-sseo I got you - Under my skin
My devils ride, deo-neun sum-eul got-i eobs-janh-a geu-reoh-ga-myeon
i-jen cheul-gyeo-bo-neun ge eo-ddeol-gga I got you - Under my skin

Neon na-reul weon-hae neon nae-ge bba-jyeo neon nae-ge mi-ch’yeo
He-eo-nal su eob-seo I got you - Under my skin
Neon na-reul weon-hae neon nae-ge bba-jyeo neon nae-ge mi-ch’yeo
Neon na-eui no-ye I got you - Under my skin

seething at the edges now~Oppa!!

jaejoongie looks so much like a china doll with those red lips and those beautiful eyes which seems to stare straight into YOU..im melting again for the hundredth time.

Yunnie oppa always looks cute in a suit, sulking or sultry looking? Ahhh..sexy...hihihi

idolisation and admiration which is bordering into obsession is very, very unhealthy, and dangerous, especially when you've got nothing to fall back into. today i find myself in a very claustrophobic/hyperventilating state due to the sudden realisation(finally, it sank in) that the stupid outlet is REALLY, REALLY going to open next friday but some of the design issues are yet to be approved by the landlord. I know, i swore that im not going to blog about work so i will just limit it to that previous one sentence only.

Anyway, as i was saying about the obsession, really lah kan, its like rewind balik to zaman teenager aku when i was oh so engrossed/in love/obsessed with Linkin Park. i remember eating, sleeping, thinking, dreaming of LP almost everyday. And now this phase is back but with DBSK pulak. Maybe i have to cut down on listening to the songs and MV so that i wont be having these withdrawal symptoms, auditory hallucinations(wtf)?? am i really crazy??

But tell me, please, how do i cure my lovesickness for Yunnie oppa??

ps: Note to self, in case of insomnia, DO NOT watch anime or korean shows especially after midnight onwards.

pps: im so fucking tired, stop calling me, stop asking me, stop requesting, stop changing, just STOP ALREADY!

~~pictures above are from Always JaeJoong & 2uAngels.blogspot.com~~

fangirl moment yg ke brape entah

Siol ar, i just cant take this anymore!!!. DBSK da kluarkan mv wrong number pat youtube, bloody hell its so fucking fabulous, yunnie in the bathtub, then with those tight jeans only with that sexy bod. How can he be so delicious? He is really like, like, so super sexy, seriously my vocab is so. limited. i watched the mv 4 times in a row, the dance moves super pheeweeet. Betcha yunnie oppa gonna look super hot when they perform live. OMG, this means they gonna perform it at the SM town concert at bangkok this month. Babi lah all those girls get to see them. Oh yar, jaejoongie raps in this song, too hot, really too hot to describe in words. memang sajaklah nama band dorang DBSK, gods rising from the east. haiz...im meltingggg.................

Wrong number Translation:
You call me at least twelve times a day to check,
If by chance, I'm on the line with somebody
You leave a suspicious message

Who would I be talking with at this time?
It gets so hard for me, when you make up a girl who doesn't even exist, yeah

You trap me in the words of love, the annoying scoldings pile up, turning into attachment,
I want to forget you; I'll make sure you don't appear on my phone again, I said

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

As if you're my mother, you know my whole day,
You're always worried about who I am with, as if it's for me

You try to make an excuse by saying you were curious,
But the extreme restrictions just make love more painful,
What would be the good of hanging onto a hung up call?
The words I hear are clear, what to say

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

I'll erase it all
I'll change it all
The password which reminds me of the times of you and me,
I'll erase your ring tone which rang everytime my name appeared on your phone
Reset, reset

Wow, I think I'll go crazy
I'll appreciate it if you shut up,
I'm like a stupid fish in your net, cant it be enough like this? Cash
Your words of love scrape my skin, it becomes dim,
My head starts to hurt again, I'm starting to hear auditory hallucinations,
As if you're interested, as if its for me; I'm just your item,
You don't have to be nervous by the word, No
Just let me go, say,
Help me so I can escape, say, we're already too far to start again

You got the wrong number
You got the wrong number
I'm sorry. You got the wrong number
So don't call me no more

I want to escape from you now, don't call me again,
Don't hold onto a person that has left, just let me go, just let me go



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItPRA9TznDw

Ha Ha Ha......spazzing again

Aigooo, tak tau ape nak ckp, other than pheeeweeeeet.......

jaejoongie is too sexy, sexier than oppa, but oppa still no 1 in my heart..hehe

posing maut nie...

heheheh, die tak shave, so..so...cute!!!!!!!!!!!! Muahahahahhahaha.... No matter what happens with work, all i gotta do is picture yunho oppa, hyunjoong-ssi or shinee and suddenly rainbows will emerge from those cloudy skies...kehkehkeh....i know, so cheesy but what the heck lah.

ps: mysoju da ade HYD movie...wahahhah
pps:must remember to get Hiro's pix...

so smexy..

wanted to put yunho oppa's pix but today i feel like giving some of my love to hyun joongie who's cool as hell in these photos. I hope he does a good or better portrayal of Hanazawa Rui in the korean version of Hana Yori Dango. Cant wait for it, fighting Oppa!

fanaticism is when you keep hearing the song over and over again in your mind. It is whenever someone plays that song, you feel like jumping out of your seat and dancing to the song. it is when you squeal everytime someone plays the mv. it is when you download every single picture that you can find of the member that you love and setup a folder especially for that member's pictures. it is when you whine at your sisters to find you the handphone theme with the most delicious looking picture so that you can stare at your favorite idol whenever you're bored. it is when u eat, sleep, breathe DBSK....wahahahahahaha. i seriously gotta get a life,man.

rasa2 macam nak blog pasal benda A tapi rasa2 macam tak kuasa pulak. What's past is past, all we have to do is move on and look forward to the future.

Oppa~~

cute face
serious face
singing face
bored face
sexy face...ahhhh
smiley face


hot!
huh? what? sorry, was busy drooling over yunho oppa's pix...soo hot.. i think this is the 3rd time that i have become absolutely obssessed over an idol..sheesh.. so my resolution this year is to somehow watch DBSK live. LP da tengok live, Muse da tengok live. Eishhh, kalau dapat be up close to Yunho oppa, aku pengsan...haiz.....saranghe Yunho-ssi...

real spazzing entry...

Hahahahah, is it just me or do i have a knack of getting these boys names mixed up? Yati lah macam siak ajer, bile aku tanya whether that's junsu, she said yar, yar. Padahal its YUNHO, the leader. Wahlau eh... Adik was pissed off for the whole week sebab she thought i took her matair. Eh, please lah, perasan seh si dodol tu. anyway, presenting Yunho Oppa...LOL...

You should see oppa's body roll. Seriously man, droolworthy. If Oppa and the gang does come to singapore, i'll just faint...hehe..and then i'll scream my head off.

spazzing entry part yg ke berape ntah

ahhh OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!! why didnt i realise that DBSK was sooo super hot????? WHY? i guess i must have been tired after work when they showed me mirotic video but really lah, how could i be so blind as to miss out the hotness?? young, fresh, oklah they're my age, but sial lah, the dancing was so damn sexy. And in the videos, baju yang dorang pakai banyak tunjuk badan...HAIZZ....cair aku depan pc, meleleh i tell you. I guess they're the best lah kan from all the bands i've seen so far, based on the dancing, live singing aku tak tau pulak. kan best kalau dorang pun datang singapore for the Korean night/pop thingy. tapi macam siak ajer, adik aku cakap the tix cost $168.

aku nak pegi tapi soalnya skarang, takkan aku nak terkinja-kinja sorg2 pat sane. tak fun ar. Tapi kalau aku bwk the kiddos, aku kene cough up at least $300 ratus lebih seh, dan takkan aku nak bawak sorg jer, nanti merajuk pulak yang lagi satu. dan soalan cepu emas pulak nie, adeke sape2 nak sponsor??

aigoo, so tough finding a nice pix of these boys, this is the only decent one i can find. my favourite is on the right. He's so much cuter in the mirotic video now that he's thinner and had plastic surgery? no idea if he's the one who got it, i might be wrong but really lah, in the interview that i watched, his face was so sculpted, so perfect, soo issh.... and it looks like he's the tallest...hahaha, i loike.

tired.

Jewelry, wondergirls, etc, etc are coming to town for K-Pop night or something in November. The only idiotic thing is that most probably the tickets wont be available to the public, only through sponsors like LG when you buy their stuff. Freaking kanasai right?

Anyway, im so tired lah. its gonna be another week of rushing for proposal deadline again. PENATLAH SIOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i really hate it when i turn up at meetings all sweaty like a pig with messed up hair and a heavy bag to carry. HAIZ.

ah soka?

IM SO CRAVING FOR MCGRIDDLES!!!! dah nak kat 2 bulan seh kempunan, and i always miss the breakfast time. Bole tak request for McD's to extend their breakfast period to 12 noon? BOLE TAK?????

Anyway, stayed up till 3am to oversee the site till i was told to go back by client, macam bapak halau anak gitu, siap kasi tambang taxi sekali. If i wasnt soo groggy and hungry, i would've stayed sampai pagi macam untuk Central project.

and luckily this morning i was greeted by the sight of SHINEE..on tv lah, siak ar da ade channel arirang seh. Ahhh, onew pastu key, dahtu tunjuk snippets of the perfomances. Aku terus bukak mata besar2.haha. Aku tau adik aku pat tepi da geleng kepala. those boys are just too irresistible.

hari tu MD ade bebual ngan aku pasal this impending recession for the next few years. She proposed for us to set up a resource center in Oz, where we can design materials like those patterned granite tiles, textured glass, fabrics, etc,etc. And she says i have to think it through as i cant just test it out for a year and then run off. I will need to LIVE there and can only come back to Sg 2/3 times a year. i really hope she was joking on the 2/3 times part. IF they really set this company up, will i be willling to be away from this boring place, away from my family? Ntah eh..aku pun tak tau...

Tsuki to Knife

Romaji
Boku no kotoba ga tarinai no nara
Mune wo naifu de saite eguridashitemo ii

Kimi no mayoi to iiwake gurai
Honto wa boku datte kizuiteta no sa

Itsuka mata anna fuu ni dareka wo nikumu no ka na
Da to shitara motto motto
Dakishimete toge no you ni kokoro ni sasareba ii
Anata ni zutto zutto nokoreba ii

Ima sara nanimo iwanai keredo
Kimi no kotoba wa zenbu uso de iin darou

Konna koto bakari kurikaeshitetara
Boku no namida wa itsuka tsuki ni todoku darou

Boku wa mata anna fuu ni dareka ai seru no ka na
Sono toki wa kitto kitto
Kaguwashii kaze no you ni toki ga nagasarereba ii
Itsu mademo zutto zutto tsuzukeba ii

English
If my words aren't enough
Stick a knife in my chest and carve out my heart

The truth is, I'd realized
Your hesitation and excuses

I wonder if I'll ever hate someone like that again
If I will, then I should hold you
Tighter and tighter, like thorns piercing your heart
So I stay with you forever and ever

I won't say anything now
But I don't care if your words are all lies

If I keep on doing this
Will my tears someday reach the moon?

I wonder if I'll ever love someone like that again
If the time comes, I hope
Time flows like a fragrant breeze
I hope it continues forever and ever

---no wonder it has that melancholic feel, and whenever i listen to it, it never fails to really pull on certain strings. beset to listen when you're feeling down, everything will come pouring out. Tapi bengap jugaklah aku kan, since this song came out when yamada (?)rejected mayama (?), it should be a sad song mah. Ergh, i feel like watching fruits basket again. La la la la la la la~~ La~

yes im back

it went and came macam biasa, macam 2-3 tahun yang lepas. Cuma aku rasakan sinarannya semakin pudar dimakan masa. Mungkin kita semua dah dewasa dan lebih peka atau pun sensitif akan perubahan di sekililing kita? Entahlah, aku pun tak tahu. Yang aku tahu, aku dah cuba sedaya upaya to get our family to gather to make cookies together, clean the house together, etc, etc. I want to create memories for my sisters. One day we will go our own ways but i want them to remember that we sisters have to stick together no matter what happens. And as the eldest, i'll be there for them, even though i may act like a retard or a 3 year old all the time. ;p

and maybe what a friend said may be true, i cant live without my family even though i complain that all the attention they heap on me can get very asphxiating.

ku cuba menggapai bintang di langit
berkerlipan bagaikan mutiara
tapi tidak tercapai walaupun
aku melonjak lonjak
terkinja kinja
ditarik dari belakang
ditolak ke tepi
dihadang oleh bayang bayangku sendiri
aku meratap dalam hati sekali lagi

- maybe this weekend kalau aku tak malas aku upload gambar raya. Mungkin.

i wish i had snuffleophagus?

is this punishment for all the naughty things i did this year?? Every single stupid thing that can happen will happen/has happen this month. And im sitting here stuck between wanting to bawl my eyes out or laughing whilst rolling on the floor. Yes, that's how extreme the emotions are. No, im NOT HAPPY and im definitely NOT looking forward to this year's 'celebration' or whatever you happy happy joy joy people call it.

Let's just hope i get to fast for the last 3 days before raya, at least ade sikit semangat raya.

Are we destined to end up like the rest of the clan? Like them ,and them and 'them' as well, though i dont like to be associated with 'them' at all. Is this a sign telling you to have the courage to break free? im behind you 100% and i know its going to be hard but if all those people can make it, why cant we? Of course, its going to have a big impact in our lives, but im still waiting for you to clearly state the direction that we should go, before i lead the way. and breaking free is what im aiming for, if its the best solution for everyone. I hope my silence will make you think and decide for yourself and them on what's next.

the reasons and the way people change for the worst is very disturbing and amusing. you start to wonder when did you go wrong and what have you done to be treated so badly like that. And then you wonder whether the changed person has had a brain transplant or has their brains removed in the changing process. People should change for the better as they get older, not for the worst. But we humans have a knack of really driving off course, which results in a lot of people getting hurt.

Am i making sense?

sanso gateun nuh...

wakakakaka.....i nicked these pics from other people. Sorry, but when you have a craving for a perfect jawline, smouldering eyes, crooked sharp nose complete with a sexy/smiling but kind of sulking at the same time lips, you dont really care about other things. Oooooh, i LOVE LOVE LOVE this very first pix, the lips part...hah

She called this morning, and i can hear the nervousness in her voice, nobody was there to accompany her for the checkup at NUH. I couldnt take leave because of my deadline and i feel really bad about it. And when she called me back about 2 hours later, she sounded tired. Next friday kene pergi x-ray and then on the 10th another follow up. They are suspecting she has stones in her bladder or she might have some cancerous growth, kidney failure, etc. Sigh, i dont know how to react, its between incredulousness and shock. Nothings confirmed yet so we'll just pray hard its not serious.

But its got me thinking seriously, about donation of kidneys and stuff. What if a family member, close relative or a close friend needs blood/kidney etc? Will i have the courage to donate no matter what the end result might be? Yes im slightly afraid of needles, cant stand the thought of that thing poking through my skin and sucking my blood out. But i can watch other people get their injection, at least i think i can. Anyway, that's besides the point.

What if?

What will i do then?

badigol betul

babi siol, bingit betul aku nari, dahlah kene marah tadi pasal aku misplace the names proposal, dahtu banyak lagi kene edit. Citot seh, kene buat 2 scheme, bukan aku sengaje lambat buat tapi takde feel. Aku tau dari 2 minggu lepas aku cakap aku takleh pikir tapi memang betul otak nie tak dapat nak feel, macam tin kosong tau tak.

kau mane tau? orang lain semua mane tau, tau nak paksa pinjam duit ajer lepas tu nak marah aku pulak. Pegi mampus lah, kau ingat kau sorang jer takde duit? Dahla tak puasa, nak sakitkan hati orang yang puasa pulak. Sedarlah diri tu sikit oi, manusia, manusia. Tahap kesabaran dan kewarasan aku sudah nak dekat minimum ni, silap hari bulan...meletup semua. and when that time comes, dont say that i've been influenced and that aku nie da besar kepala, kau tu yang da biol, kau tu yang da tak tau nak fikir. You should take a look in the mirror and really see how idiotic you are now, wait , you cant, you are already so very blinded by your own stupidity's reflection.

Anyway, there's 13 more days to raya. We havent really done the hari raya shopping since everyone is waiting for my pay. I really hate being the oldest sometimes. You have to lead, listen, obey, talk, work hard, blah, blah, blah. But who am i to complain lah kan? Other people are worst off.

Yesterday i was feeling very happy bila goreng cucur udang, buat air cincau, buat jelly peach for buka puasa. Dah lama betul tak work in the kitchen, it feels so nice. When im independent one day(ada rumah sendiri), i'll set aside a whole day to just cooking and baking food. Ahhh, that'll be blissful. That's what you call life.

kawaii ne?

Wahaha...pretty boys who dance really good makes me feel a little bit happy today, lagipun there's only half an hour to buka puasa, siapa yang takkan happy ne?

These boys can really dance, Taemin is THE BEST, so slick, sampai aku tersqueal like a pig everytime i watch the video. kesian eh?

Aku dah tak kuasa nak tulis benda sedih2, benda menyakitkan hati, benda yang aku nak tapi tak dapat2, had enough of it in real life, dont want to read it back in the blog, jadi blog aku sekarang will be full of entries on korean boy bands, japanese animes and serials and of course pictures of cute boys/men. Running away from reality? Maybe, who cares? Aku nak tengok MV diorang lagi..weeeee

akaiki= sick of; bored (with)

Doushite?????? Out of all nightmares to have, actually day-mare lah kan, since it was around 7plus in the am, i had to dream about that. Ergh, i get goosebumps thinking about it. People say that when you have a bad dream, you cant tell it to anyone because it might come true but i really gotta get it out of my system man. Is this really a look into the future or just the devil playing tricks on me since i didnt want to bangun on time for work and i had also miss subuh prayers? Yes, aku mengaku, aku memang tak guna.

But why the hell lah kan, in this dream aku bole lupa yang aku puasa dan aku terus makan kuih depan orang ramai, lepas tu bole siap minum teh peng. Tsk, tsk, tsk.... bile nak dekat habis teh tu baru aku realise yang aku puasa, terus terbangun. Kelam kabut aku pegi keje tadi. Tapi bile ingat balik HYD, aku tersenyum sorang macam kerang busuk.

by the way, aku ada terbaca some blogs from malaysian bloggers and ada rasa tak puas hati jugak lah. The way some of them blog about us malay singaporeans, they're implying that we are ketinggalan, tak maju, or something like that lah. Actually, aku nak jugak berdebat pat sini tapi memandang kan bulan puasa, dan soal malaysia & singapura agak sensitif walaupun kita ni berjiran, lebih baik lah i keep my feelings and thoughts to myself.

Sesungguhnya aku berpuasa, dan masih berkerja...Ittai...:(

Bakayaro!!!!!!!!!!!

yalah, bodoh seh perempuan tu pergi choose the eldest instead of the 3rd brother. WTH kan? dahlah selenge bacin, with that spaced out smile plastered across his face and his only response was always "Ah, soka." Baka. But i think its obviously the 3rd brother's fault for missing out on his chance, he blew it in the first place by playing that joke on her thus creating an opening for the baka. Ish....geramnye, and he looked so sad, well, not that sad lah cos the girl was belo as well. Sajak lah si belo dengan si bengap. If he had asked me "can it be me?" i would definitely say yes..wahahahahha. By the way, im talking about hinimitsu no hanazono..... rating 5/10, only hongo kanata and kaname jun were cute, but hongo's character was cool, for a kid.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gasp, i just saw a pix of matsumoto kun posing with a girl, topless, for a magazine.....wahlau eh, heart pain seh, i gotta erase that image from my mind, begone you personification of evil, begone, shooh.....:(

Sabar, Di sabar...

tapi bile tengok gambar nie, all my worries melt macam butter....sigh...sesungguhnye aku berpuasa.

Hontoni?

running off towards the open door with someone leading you in front and one hand holding onto your train of dress.....and this is during the wintertime, when its snowing.

im sure every one would imagine something like this..

And after watching that jap serial, that scene will be permanently stuck in my mind...haiz.. Isnt there any other serials which dont involve the couples marrying in the end? The optimism is getting boring.

Bulan untuk banyak bersabar

I was this ( ) close to throwing my slippers at those B*** for just cutting queue when i was waiting for a cab this morning. I know lah that there's no bloody taxi stand at Teban but please lah a*******, use your brain, you guys already saw me standing there and yet each of you spineless masochistic brainless males decide to stand 5 feet away from me. What the hell kan? Of course lah the taxi wont stop since im in the middle!!! Ka****, you guys should be grateful its the fasting month, i swear i would've have cursed you inside out and picked a fight with you then and there. Seriously man, men these days are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo super egocentric. It is so rare to find a guy, a stranger to hold a door open for you. Its just plain gentlemanly attitude to hold open a door for a girl/woman.

So, bila aku tengah layankan frust sambil dengar lagu korea, aku tak dapat suppress a smile bila dengar lagu SS501. Ahhh, so fresh, haha. At least umur dorang sebaya aku, kalau Shinee lain lah, umur budak2 sekolah menengah, tapi lagi fresh i tell you. Their live performance pat Music Bank (channel KBS world), fuyoo, the dance moves were so sleek i felt like a teenager gushing over them in front of the tv.

Dan disebabkan manga Hana Yori Dango, aku masih ketandusan idea. Dah nak dekat basi, sejak dari minggu lepas, otak aku betul2 buntu. And this is very the dangerous, especially in my field of work. Serius giler nie, everything i churn out is starting to look the same, so much so that even i am scared to draw out anything right now. Argh, otak aku macam nak pecah nie, i cant always expect boss to help me with the brainstorming. I have to LOVE this concept, it needs to have SOUL. Sudahlah, aku nak research lagi..bosan betul seh.

yoohooh

Babi lah, i just posted an entry on my undying love and affection for SS501 but it disappeared due to an error??


Kanasai


Anyway, below is for your or actually MY viewwing pleasure...Droolzzz......

nak balik....

ahhh....fresh boys...so cute, so fresh, so yummy.... yeah, SS501, my fave has got to be the leader, HyunJoong. The latest episode from We Got Married, where he and Buin had their 'wedding photoshoot' was really super cool. i love the shots. More than Crown J and In Young's wedding shots.

............................................

im sorry, was drooling....avid fans of these boys would agree with me. Well, this was so random and so takde makne...