Friday, 28th April, ‘06
I was so pissed off this morning with the old man at home. When I was about to step out of the house for work, he asked me in an angry tone whether I had transport money. Then I told him I don’t have it and that I asked from mum but she’s broke. After hearing that, he scolded me, saying that I should have asked him for money, blah, blah, I always ask for money when people don’t have it, blah, blah. God, what the hell right? If he was willing to at least lend me the money, then he would have just given it to me without asking if im broke or what. I felt like screaming at him. Its as if im asking him for a thousand bucks! One day I might just walk out of this stupid pigeon hole of a house and never come back. Then nobody would have to lend me money (which was only $10 by the way).
And then, when I was trying to stop myself from dropping onto my knees and wincing in pain on the pavement, an uncle gave me a passing remark. He said..
“ Nak pegi keje kene senyum…”
I felt like turning back and shouting “ Menyebok ajelah pakcik!” to him. How do you smile when your stomach feels like a washing machine, with all your internal organs twisting and turning non-stop. And why the hell would I, who’s walking alone, want to be smiling at total strangers at the bus interchange? Especially to strangers like the uncle who are potential miang assholes, who thinks they’ve scored big points once a young thing looks their way and smile. Man, pick on someone your own age lah.
Oh, and when I paid $1.10 for the bus fare, the bus driver said that its 90 cents. Fuck right? Is it my fault that bus drivers don’t seem to agree on the bus fare? Is it my fault that some of them think im still in secondary school while others think im a working adult? Should I wear a banner on my head which says, “ Still student, 90 cents only ” when I get on the bus?
Stupid bus driver.
Stupid kepo uncle.
Stupid pms.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
bb
Thursday, 27th April, ‘06
Ahh.. Alone in the office again. The cleaner uncle who comes in every Thursday has finally left me to plan what to do for the next couple of hours. Can you believe it? He thought I had kids!! God, do I look that old? Or is our generation already congested with very young, married couples with kids?
Anyway, I want to talk about the meeting which I went to on Tuesday. It was a very funny experience. I don’t know what to make of it. Let me start from the beginning. I followed my colleague (who was a colleague of bapak) to the meeting. We reached there first and waited for everyone to arrive. Then, 2 guys came in. Guy A is project director while guy B is the assistant of the supervisor. Then came in 2 more guys from the M & E dept. At last, Guy C, who’s the supervisor of the whole thing, came in and he started the game going.
It was a total bore at first, with them confirming the schedule, discussing the tender and some PQM stuff (my fave subject..NOT) and my colleague taking down the minutes. Then, i suddenly realized that everyone had switched to the Hokkien channel without informing me beforehand. So there I was, looking as though I understood what the hell they were saying while glancing at my colleague’s notes. The funny thing was that Guy A only spoke in Chinese with 4-5 English words (max!) for the whole meeting. Guy B was the kanchiong one (reminded me of Abel) who looked selenge and Guy C made jokes with a straight face (looks like Jeffrey, but who’s Jeffrey?). Looking around at all of them, I tried desperately not to either laugh, drop dead or jump up on the meeting table and do a solo tapdance for them, which I didn’t do at all. Bummer.
So, after the meeting, went with my colleague to siglap for site visit. During the journey, he talked while I listened, nodded and said a few words. He’s a bit like the old dude himself but not the philosopher part lah. And then, we talked to the contractor at the site. You know what he said to me? At first he asked me how’s design. I said its good. Then he said,
“Design is like taking a naked woman and dressing her up. . Right?”
God, I tell you, I felt like guffawing out loud in front of him and my colleague, whom I will name B. If he meant that literally, we would be a bunch of sickos who have nothing better to do than to dress up rich naked woman. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Ok, now I want to continue with my work, I have to clear the backlog which some people left behind. Haiz, its tiring finishing up other people’s design. And I have to wait for my boss’ instructions for the new project which she wants completed by 4th May. Crazy right? Ciao.
Ahh.. Alone in the office again. The cleaner uncle who comes in every Thursday has finally left me to plan what to do for the next couple of hours. Can you believe it? He thought I had kids!! God, do I look that old? Or is our generation already congested with very young, married couples with kids?
Anyway, I want to talk about the meeting which I went to on Tuesday. It was a very funny experience. I don’t know what to make of it. Let me start from the beginning. I followed my colleague (who was a colleague of bapak) to the meeting. We reached there first and waited for everyone to arrive. Then, 2 guys came in. Guy A is project director while guy B is the assistant of the supervisor. Then came in 2 more guys from the M & E dept. At last, Guy C, who’s the supervisor of the whole thing, came in and he started the game going.
It was a total bore at first, with them confirming the schedule, discussing the tender and some PQM stuff (my fave subject..NOT) and my colleague taking down the minutes. Then, i suddenly realized that everyone had switched to the Hokkien channel without informing me beforehand. So there I was, looking as though I understood what the hell they were saying while glancing at my colleague’s notes. The funny thing was that Guy A only spoke in Chinese with 4-5 English words (max!) for the whole meeting. Guy B was the kanchiong one (reminded me of Abel) who looked selenge and Guy C made jokes with a straight face (looks like Jeffrey, but who’s Jeffrey?). Looking around at all of them, I tried desperately not to either laugh, drop dead or jump up on the meeting table and do a solo tapdance for them, which I didn’t do at all. Bummer.
So, after the meeting, went with my colleague to siglap for site visit. During the journey, he talked while I listened, nodded and said a few words. He’s a bit like the old dude himself but not the philosopher part lah. And then, we talked to the contractor at the site. You know what he said to me? At first he asked me how’s design. I said its good. Then he said,
“Design is like taking a naked woman and dressing her up. . Right?”
God, I tell you, I felt like guffawing out loud in front of him and my colleague, whom I will name B. If he meant that literally, we would be a bunch of sickos who have nothing better to do than to dress up rich naked woman. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Ok, now I want to continue with my work, I have to clear the backlog which some people left behind. Haiz, its tiring finishing up other people’s design. And I have to wait for my boss’ instructions for the new project which she wants completed by 4th May. Crazy right? Ciao.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
aa
Monday, 24th April ‘06
Paranoia has resurfaced, along with anxiety, depression and insanity. It used to lie in wait in the deep murkiness of my subconscious but once I started work, it unleashed itself. I went back home everyday, thinking, is this what I want to be doing for the rest of my life? There’s surely other ways to torture my pathetic self other than spending 9 hrs alone in this god forsaken place, doing 3d and all that crap. Never has the word Independent felt so real and burdensome. I just want to make money and have fun but i guess fun and money don’t go together in the real working world. God, I might die alone here.
Told mum that I don’t think I would be working here for long. She just looked at me like I was a rich brat or a freeloader who doesn’t want to work at all. Honestly, do I have to spell it out for her that it kind of sucks here? Both of them wanted me to work but when I bring back my work home, they ask me why im doing that. To them work should just be done at work. Hello? This is design, not modeling or sales (no offence to these ppl)
You know what I wish for? I wish for at least 30 k to fall on my lap. So that I can fly off to Australia and continue my studies. Then I’ll say adios amigos to the folks at home since they don’t give a shithole about my future, esp the head of the house.
Ciao to you and to my uncertain and bleak future.. --
Paranoia has resurfaced, along with anxiety, depression and insanity. It used to lie in wait in the deep murkiness of my subconscious but once I started work, it unleashed itself. I went back home everyday, thinking, is this what I want to be doing for the rest of my life? There’s surely other ways to torture my pathetic self other than spending 9 hrs alone in this god forsaken place, doing 3d and all that crap. Never has the word Independent felt so real and burdensome. I just want to make money and have fun but i guess fun and money don’t go together in the real working world. God, I might die alone here.
Told mum that I don’t think I would be working here for long. She just looked at me like I was a rich brat or a freeloader who doesn’t want to work at all. Honestly, do I have to spell it out for her that it kind of sucks here? Both of them wanted me to work but when I bring back my work home, they ask me why im doing that. To them work should just be done at work. Hello? This is design, not modeling or sales (no offence to these ppl)
You know what I wish for? I wish for at least 30 k to fall on my lap. So that I can fly off to Australia and continue my studies. Then I’ll say adios amigos to the folks at home since they don’t give a shithole about my future, esp the head of the house.
Ciao to you and to my uncertain and bleak future.. --
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Holiday...
Hello...im back from limbo..hehe
Tried my luck using the net, hope it'll last.Anyway, i'll be starting work next monday.No surprise it'll be at Aoid.So, im still waiting for lehn to msg about the meeting.That man is mysterious.All the meetings are like, in the last minute and im always the last to know what's happening.For instance this theater thingy for death of a salesman, so vague.
To tell you the truth, i dont want to work.Everyone keeps telling me to continue studying but it's all about the money dude...
Im going to be sick so...Ciao.
Tried my luck using the net, hope it'll last.Anyway, i'll be starting work next monday.No surprise it'll be at Aoid.So, im still waiting for lehn to msg about the meeting.That man is mysterious.All the meetings are like, in the last minute and im always the last to know what's happening.For instance this theater thingy for death of a salesman, so vague.
To tell you the truth, i dont want to work.Everyone keeps telling me to continue studying but it's all about the money dude...
Im going to be sick so...Ciao.
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