hello 2009

well, new years day was spent at my aunt's house,eating, karaokeing and celebrating a cousin's bday. Yeah, for once, i actually sang a few songs. My suara emas(golden voice) cannot be used so carelessly..HAHA. I think its been a few years since i karaoke in front of people, excluding my mum and sisters lah. I dont know, i just hate the way my voice sounds when i karaoke, its like its someone else's voice. Maybe im just paranoid but i feel like the more i karaoke, the more i lose the 'Me' in my voice, like losing posession of my voice. Argh i dont know how to describe it. like my essence is slowly dissipating from my voice, in turn making it a voice from another being. wait, am i making sense here??!!

im tired mentally, things are happening even though they look like they dont. we are waiting for a timebomb to explode. On the surface it looks calm but underneath, you dont know how strong the current is. AS much as i'd like to confide in someone, i cant stand the thought that it will really come true if i say it out loud. It seems like we are walking down the same road that others have taken. Are we meant to end up like that? everytime i think about this, sadness grips like a vice when this impending reality sinks in. maybe we need to lose something in order to gain something else? Well, nothing is for free right?

on a sidenote, even though i've blogged about this before, i've never believed in marriages. Never can i understand how 2 people from different backgrounds can decide to live together. Love i can understand (well, im sceptical of this as well) but marriage? Pfftt...pish posh...

aish im tired, need to sleep for awhile before i continue on the revised elevation, due later today before noon, can you believe it??...blahdy kanasai...

sometimes im too happy and sometimes im too depressed over the smallest things. but the latter i try to hide it so that only i can experience. Happines should be shared, even though being happy is just to make myself forget. But what is it that i want to forget?