Lunatic's Confessions.

It feels like everything that I've planned has gone terribly wrong. There's just this sense of unease and sickening dread. And it was all due to the talk we had yesterday. My aunt reminded me of overseas studies and when I told her I will get there someday, it suddenly hit me. At the rate that im going right now, I might never even get to taste the Australian air and the university life that I had been dreaming of for the past 2 years. It used to consume my thoughts but now, im so caught up with trying to finish up the concept boards or looking for suitable finishes for lounge project that I have lost sight of everything else.

To tell you the truth, I don't want to be doing this, here, for the rest of my young life. Im only 20 for god's sake, I don't want to sit and do stuff that 30 year olds do when they get sick and tired of running around. I want to be out there, with people my age, learning new things and testing my creativity, not that I think im creative enough but it’s a change of atmosphere right? To be somewhere totally new, surrounded by people with different views on life and to be learning.

I don't care when everyone else keeps saying that it's a waste of time and money to be studying overseas. Hey, like what I said, im still young and its not wrong to make mistakes because that's the learning process.

Yes, work is cool because you get paid but right now, work is sooo not for me. From now on, I will not spend money like water, im going to start saving a lot more that what I've been saving and I will not forget the promise I made to my mum. I know it will be difficult but heck, im gonna get to RMIT even if I have to starve to get there. And yes, I have no qualms about leaving my family back here. Eh, its not as if im going to settle down overseas right? Singapore is still the best place to live in even though its boooorrrriiiinnngggg. Hah.