Down

Sigh, I cant believe that I agreed to go to the stupid furniture talk thingy. It costs ten bucks and I think the rest of the cabinet members are not going. So its only me and norain. Damn it, the old dude looked so pathetic and desperate. If it bores me to death, the first person that I strangle will not be the speaker but the old dude himself.

Im having difficulty writing the draft. I know what I want to write but I just cant seem to get the right words on paper. Its so tough. And I haven’t even started thinking of what to write for Mies yet. Man, I’ve got no mood to do work today. I just want to sleep all day. Haiz, I feel like a sloth.

Down-Blink 182
The drops of rain they fall all over

This awkward silence makes me crazy

The glow inside burns light upon her

I'll try to kiss you if you let me

[this can't be the end]

Tidal waves they rip right through me

Tears from eyes worn cold and sad

Pick me up now, I need you so bad

Down down down down

Down down down down

It gets me so

Down down down down

Down down down down

It gets me so

Your vows of silence fall all over

The look in your eyes makes me crazy

I feel the darkness break upon her

I'll take you over if you let me

[You did this]

Tidal waves they rip right through me

Tears from eyes worn cold and sad

Pick me up now, I need you so bad.

Down down down down

Down down down down

It gets me so

Down down down down

Down down down down

It gets me so

5pm
I wish I could write beautiful lyrics. But I just don’t have the talent to do so. I guess you can’t force yourself to be something you’re not. Maybe, my expectations for myself are high. But I can’t help it if I keep dreaming of making it big some day. I can’t help it if I dream of being a journalist, writing about design or music for some newspaper or magazine. But really, who am I kidding? To top it all off my Malay is getting bad. It’s getting atrocious as I can’t seem to translate things from English to Malay as easily as I used to when I was in secondary school. I shudder at the thought of forgetting my own mother tongue language. Imagine me, not being able to speak in Malay anymore. Ok, I’m exaggerating, I’m getting paranoid and it’s getting hot in here.

Maybe reading Zarathustra will make me feel better?

Or should I continue my 2nd reading of Bellmer?

Should I do the dimensioning of my walls?

Hey, I’ve got a great idea. I should just watch tv or sleep and continue all this shit at night. And I don’t care if my bitchy 2nd sister gets pissed off. Who’s the elder sister anyway?

11pm
Man, I feel like shit. I feel stupid. I feel like nothing. Ok, im into my pissed off mode right now. Agh!!! Fu*k this stupid thing!!!! Ok, im going to scratch out profanities on my paper later and then tear it into small pieces before stepping on it and cursing out loud.. DAMN YOU FU*KIN’ RETAIL PROJECT!!! Now I feel like crying.. WHY ME??!! WHY??!!