Fickle minded ness has led me to where I am now. Sitting within these four walls which seemed to engulf me in its other worldliness. Breathing in the stiff air that has reduced me to a shadow of what I was, I reckon I will dissipate into the air without so much as a struggle to put up. The devil has been whispering in my ear. Soon, he will come bearing me promises of eternal bliss. Ah, there he is, striding past the dark figures lurking in the walkway. I watched him with a mixture of foreboding dread and excitement that I cant really comprehend. Yes, let us discuss this matter in front of the hearth..
All thanks to Hoffmann and the situation that im in right now. I bid adieu to my sanity. Oh, Nandini sends her regards to you guys.
I think im getting sick. First its depression, utmost dread and total lost of faith in myself (pasrahlah), now its positivity and im feeling a bit happy? Sick, just plain sick. I need a break from everything. And why is mr ako calling my hp instead of the office phone?
Ahhh.. I finally found the lyrics to this song. Man, it took me at least 5 months to finally get the song title right. Its by relient-k. Who are they? here's a bit of the song..
And I heard the reverberating footsteps
Syncing up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless I got myself together
I would watch me fall apart
And I can’t let that happen again
Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it’s ever been
And this is no place to try and live my life
Who I am hates who I’ve been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me
Who I am hates who I’ve been
Cause who I’ve been only ever made me
Friday, May 12, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
dam
Monday, 8th May, 06
Another week of work to go through but thank god for Friday. It will be Vesak day, woohoo. I finally bought hoffmann’s book which I had been searching for since year 2. God, it seems like ages ago right? And I bought the Strokes first impressions of earth. Nice. How do I explain his singing? Its draggy but his voice rocks lah. The songs are reminiscent of the rock maintain era. Not sure which era though. The album cover book has a lot of reminders or should I say quotes that remind you about the weirdness of life. One such quote took me a long time to figure out. Firstly because it was upside down, and a bit blurry and very,very small. It says..
“ No one leaves an old friend unless they are ashamed..”
Hmm.. Don’t know what to say.
I dont think im ready to handle everything. She wants me to lead the 3 coming presentations. God, I have to present all the work in front of old, working people. Noooo. Just think about it, one day I might end up like one of them. No, that’s not going to happen. Something will happen and it will change my life forever. Sounds cliché right. But really, God certainly has something planned for me. Right?
So another thought has been bugging me since last week. It reminds me of the first few theory lectures in year 1. Each of us are in our own little world. No matter what people say about everyone being connected in some way or the other, we are still in our own little spherical bubble. Just imagine, if God were to make life much simpler, the world would be filled with bubbles instead of human beings. So how do couples…. Ok, I’ll keep that thought to myself. Hah..;p I think the seclusion has made me a bit ding dong.
So, im still waiting. But why should I if I just want to satisfy people’s needs. God, I miss doing nothing at home.
Im reduced to reading people’s blogs and tagging on it just to make sure that I am a part of this big world and not stuck in some god forsaken planet in outer space.
Another week of work to go through but thank god for Friday. It will be Vesak day, woohoo. I finally bought hoffmann’s book which I had been searching for since year 2. God, it seems like ages ago right? And I bought the Strokes first impressions of earth. Nice. How do I explain his singing? Its draggy but his voice rocks lah. The songs are reminiscent of the rock maintain era. Not sure which era though. The album cover book has a lot of reminders or should I say quotes that remind you about the weirdness of life. One such quote took me a long time to figure out. Firstly because it was upside down, and a bit blurry and very,very small. It says..
“ No one leaves an old friend unless they are ashamed..”
Hmm.. Don’t know what to say.
I dont think im ready to handle everything. She wants me to lead the 3 coming presentations. God, I have to present all the work in front of old, working people. Noooo. Just think about it, one day I might end up like one of them. No, that’s not going to happen. Something will happen and it will change my life forever. Sounds cliché right. But really, God certainly has something planned for me. Right?
So another thought has been bugging me since last week. It reminds me of the first few theory lectures in year 1. Each of us are in our own little world. No matter what people say about everyone being connected in some way or the other, we are still in our own little spherical bubble. Just imagine, if God were to make life much simpler, the world would be filled with bubbles instead of human beings. So how do couples…. Ok, I’ll keep that thought to myself. Hah..;p I think the seclusion has made me a bit ding dong.
So, im still waiting. But why should I if I just want to satisfy people’s needs. God, I miss doing nothing at home.
Im reduced to reading people’s blogs and tagging on it just to make sure that I am a part of this big world and not stuck in some god forsaken planet in outer space.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
asif
Friday. 5th May ‘06
God, im like bloody tired and sleepy. I cant take it anymore. So. Many. Changes. My mind is so crowded with the bar images and the coloured plans. Wait, my mind is going numb, im stoning out. This is partly due to the rainy weather outside and the coffee that the cleaner uncle bought for me. Tomorrow is the voting day. What do I make of it, you say? Don’t try to cheat and waver people’s trust in the other team, you’ll get sued but worst, you’ll also drop your water face mah.
Hehe, a guy from a laminate company dropped by to show me bigger samples of the laminates. So cute seh. A bit selenge, very skinny, very fair. Yes, he’s Chinese and so? He asked me if he can meet with a ms Diana and I told him its me. Don’t I look like a Diana? Maybe because im wearing slippers and my loose fitting green skirt that I don’t look like a designer? Then what did I look like? A maid? Whatever lah.
God, im like bloody tired and sleepy. I cant take it anymore. So. Many. Changes. My mind is so crowded with the bar images and the coloured plans. Wait, my mind is going numb, im stoning out. This is partly due to the rainy weather outside and the coffee that the cleaner uncle bought for me. Tomorrow is the voting day. What do I make of it, you say? Don’t try to cheat and waver people’s trust in the other team, you’ll get sued but worst, you’ll also drop your water face mah.
Hehe, a guy from a laminate company dropped by to show me bigger samples of the laminates. So cute seh. A bit selenge, very skinny, very fair. Yes, he’s Chinese and so? He asked me if he can meet with a ms Diana and I told him its me. Don’t I look like a Diana? Maybe because im wearing slippers and my loose fitting green skirt that I don’t look like a designer? Then what did I look like? A maid? Whatever lah.
Friday, May 05, 2006
dream
Thursday, 4th May, ’06 7pm
I had the weirdest dream ever. There was the Dalai Lama, a kind of courtly royal gathering, a discussion on the correct pronunciation of Marlon Brando (which left me totally inspired in the dream) and finally a broken lamp with complicated contraptions which I kept trying to light up and this finally leads to the prince inviting everyone for a feast.
Yes I did try to make sense of it on the way to work but staring off into space with a puzzled expression on my face, only invites curious stares from people all around. Funny right? I think subconsciously, my mind is making up for the lost of entertainment in my life by coming up with silly dreams.
Anyway, yesterday was supposed to be the last day of CoTo, but since everyone hasn’t finished their models, we’re going to have to continue for 2 or 3 more sessions. To be frank, im thankful that Lehn made me and ys go to the workshop instead of his redhill office. I get to meet all the crazy and annoying people who im beginning to miss. Its hard not to miss the people who you see almost everyday for the past 3 years. Those people who share the lost of blood, sweat and tears while trying to impress the lecturers and their friends. God, why am I so sentimental today? Must be because of all the sappy songs on the radio.
So, if you ask me how’s life right now, I wouldn’t know what to say. My life is like a picture puzzle that im trying to piece together. Things don’t usually go the way I planned it but wait, im not a planner at all. I never even planned what to do next month, let alone next week. It’s a mess I tell you. A mess which I always try to sweep under the carpet so that no one knows about it. Cheh, I hate this pondering mood of mine. Will write in when something interesting happens, like AS IF!! Ciao.
I had the weirdest dream ever. There was the Dalai Lama, a kind of courtly royal gathering, a discussion on the correct pronunciation of Marlon Brando (which left me totally inspired in the dream) and finally a broken lamp with complicated contraptions which I kept trying to light up and this finally leads to the prince inviting everyone for a feast.
Yes I did try to make sense of it on the way to work but staring off into space with a puzzled expression on my face, only invites curious stares from people all around. Funny right? I think subconsciously, my mind is making up for the lost of entertainment in my life by coming up with silly dreams.
Anyway, yesterday was supposed to be the last day of CoTo, but since everyone hasn’t finished their models, we’re going to have to continue for 2 or 3 more sessions. To be frank, im thankful that Lehn made me and ys go to the workshop instead of his redhill office. I get to meet all the crazy and annoying people who im beginning to miss. Its hard not to miss the people who you see almost everyday for the past 3 years. Those people who share the lost of blood, sweat and tears while trying to impress the lecturers and their friends. God, why am I so sentimental today? Must be because of all the sappy songs on the radio.
So, if you ask me how’s life right now, I wouldn’t know what to say. My life is like a picture puzzle that im trying to piece together. Things don’t usually go the way I planned it but wait, im not a planner at all. I never even planned what to do next month, let alone next week. It’s a mess I tell you. A mess which I always try to sweep under the carpet so that no one knows about it. Cheh, I hate this pondering mood of mine. Will write in when something interesting happens, like AS IF!! Ciao.
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