im baaackkk....

Can you feel it? Its in the air. Its undescribable.

Want to know what happened last week? I burst into tears after listening to a hari raya song. Haha, silly me. I dont know what got over me, but i was sobbing like hell, with my hingus and all that stuff, when the song wasnt even sad at all. In fact, it was a very happy song. Where was i at that time? Oh yar, alone at work, listening to ria on the net. I think i was just overwhelmed by everything. Time passes by so, so fast. I dont even have time to sit and think things through.

And now, 3rd week of puasa is almost over, 9 more days to the BIG DAY. Woohoo. And geylang was packed yesterday. We (aimi, ayie, norain and i) went to eat at this place at TKC, or was it joo chiat complex, hmm, dont remember and dont care because it wasnt that nice. It was fun, to just walk around with friends. And it was good to see norain because i havent seen her for a whole month. And yes it was nice to see the beruk too. And ayie looks different, because he's thinner now. And from afar, it looks like aimi was going out with a younger guy. hahaha.

Have i said how much i love the fasting month? Its so... lovely. I guess im in the festive mood. Its not the big day that im excited about, its the preparation and all the bustling and kecoh ness to the big day that just makes me high. Its intoxicating man. And during this time, all the memories will be flooding back. I kept being taken back in time, back to when late grandma was living us. All those little things that we used to do before celebrating the big day.....

Like making kuih hari raya on the kitchen floor, grandma and mum would be bickering about the color of the inti kuih tart. Red or yellow? In the end, its red. Or the time where mum and dad will be arguing with each other while they were fixing the curtains (FYI, they still do that every year). Or the time when grandma changed the kekabu bantal, and the whole place will be like a factory with all the kekabu floating in the air. Or when dad dresses up the house with balloons and those shiny metallic drapy thingys like we're celebrating someone's birthday instead of Hari Raya.

We dont have that now. Everything's changed. Everyone seems to be doing their own thing. Everyone has to work and go to school. Life is different now. But i will remember one thing that happened that night. Yati, lela and i were watchin the lampu lap lip on our beds, with the radio playing the hari raya songs. The lights were off, and so was the tv. We just ogled at the lights and were talking about how pretty it was. We talked about how the lights seemed to be following the rhythm or the beat of the songs played on the radio. I felt like i was 10 years old again and that my sisters were still 6 and 5. It felt nice. It felt nice to feel that for a few moments, nothing else matters except for the pretty flickering lights.

I listened to this song and it reminded me of you.
'All I wanted was the chance to say
I would like to see you in the morning
Rolling over just to have you there
Would make it easy for a little bit longer'
God, i'd do anything to have someone like you.
Anything.