i think im sloowwllyy deteriorating

i think im slowly decomposing, rotting, deteriorating or maybe slowly disappearing. My gums are bleeding, my hair loss is suspiciously on high mode, my stomach is, well i dont want to talk about this and my flesh, haiz....im on the verge of being labelled emaciated...i think if i weigh myself, i'll find that im 40kg, ok, ok, 42kg the least. So if im 42kg and im about 1.52m ht, is that considered underweight?

Its not that i lost appetite, its just that i have no mood. yes, i get hungry almost every 2 hrs but no mood to eat.

And im damn tired of singing this same damn tune. Its the same thing everyday. Sometimes i think that im not me anymore. Sometimes i feel like there are things crawling on my face and arms. Some times i feel like not waking up at all, just to be in a deep slumber. They have taken away my dreams, its gone, every night is just a blank 6-7 hour phase.

I dont know. Do you know? Putting up colors when you know that in reality at the bottom of the well its all black and murky. Its very frustrating actually. And the line between desire and need is blurring. i dont know what to think anymore.

plus 2 minus 2 but plus 2 again and so there's gonna be more plus's with false promises of minuses until one fine day i'll drop dead and that will be the day when minus is mine and its forever.

Urgh... the horror......

p.s: Just now W told me that there's no more 6, so i laughed cos i kind of thought it was an april fool's joke(??) but then i felt like throwing out the damn metal scrap when i have to do up 2 instead. Thanks man.

p.p.s: erm..basket, i forgot what i wanted to write...

p.p.p.s: Oh yar, if one day i read back on this, i wont bloody hell understand what i wrote, at all...