And it was gone after a flurry of writings on the wall

Words cant describe how absolutely pissed off i am right now with almost everyone and everything. The bloody office computer has lost its mind (and also the scanner software in its system) and it keeps hanging whenever i try to get to the non existent scanner. Photoshops' not helping either, what with the scanner broke, it decided to go ding dong as well. Everyone is chasing me for stuff and the datelines are ridiculously back to back, shoulder to shoulder, ear to ear. Damn it, im not a freaking robot, man.

And that idiot keeps chasing me for drawings and asking what's next. Bloody fuck, you have a mouth, you ask the MD lah, why are you asking me? Menyebok aje bile orang tengah nak siapkan presentation boards. Lepas tu ade hati cakap ngan aku yang die tak nak buat double work. Like WHEN THE FUCK HAVE YOU EVER DONE DOUBLE JOB??? You just helped out like 3 weeks ago, and most of the dwgs are churned out by MOI or by other people since you dont know how to use autocad. And your bloody shithole of a friend is still in Dubai. Blood pressure my foot. Kene heart attack betul2 karang, baru padan muke kau. Nak menipu ajer. Dasar babi hutan betul lah.

Some times you wonder who these people really are....and then you realise that, it just doesnt matter..

i feel like calling and talking, venting out everything but its just so selfish to ask that from people. Bile ade masalah, baru nak datang melalak pat member, tapi bile takde problem, tak msg pun member. Haiz, i dont want to be like that. Too clingy and dependant. But its just soo frustrating. I wish i could put all this madness, anger, sadness, weariness and emptiness into a bottle and smash it on the floor. SO. VERY. TIRING. I feel like tearing my hair but its gugur level is high so i guess its useless to do so. I feel like smashing my head on the wall and stamping my feet on the ground in the hopes of it opening up and swallowing me whole. And what i mostly want to do is go home to mum and sit beside her and cry. Cry like how i did in primary school when i was sick but tried to pretend it was ok. Cry like when i failed my maths and had to face dad to ask for his signature on my report book. Cry when i cant get what i want. Cry when im very angry and cant do anything about it. Cry when people turn on me due to some misunderstanding.

Sometimes you wish you were still 5 and that the only problems you had were how to finish the veggies on your plate or which toy you should play with today.

At other times, you just wish you were somewhere else, doing something else..