09/03/05 Wednesday 12 am
So.. im feeling like shit today. Nothing new about this because I feel like shit everyday. But this is the shittiest feeling ever (not sure if this sentence is grammatically correct though). To elaborate more on this shitty feeling with my limited vocab, I feel demoralized, like a lowlife sum, pathetic and idiotic. Yup, this is all that I can think of right now. Sometimes when you think that you have achieved something, you suddenly realize that its nothing compared to what others have done. Its like realizing that the cd or some expensive stuff that you have just bought, is fake. You feel soo small, so inferior and idiotic for buying it in the first place, for trusting yourself.
So, like I said, as this is the shittiest feeling ever, I just feel like hiding in a small crevice (duh, crevices are small, Di) and staying there until my time is due. Too bad the bermuda triangle is so far away. If not, I could just go there and thats it, im gone forever.
This is a bad time for feeling like shit because this stupid retail project is coming to an end. Im going to have a difficult time fighting an internal battle. A battle between my positive side and my cynical side. I just feel that everything I have done is useless and that it makes no difference if I try harder because in the end it doesnt even matter. But my conscience says (hah, like I have one in the first place..) that im wasting my time not working my butt off. So, what you can expect from me this week is a brooding and temperamental me. Before anyone gets hurt, I would like to apologize just in case I happen to act like a bitch (which is most unlikely to happen).
I will be going for a job interview later with norain, wendy and Andrew. Im most confident, I can bet my 2 cents on it, that the three of them will get the job because they are so good. Im not praising ok, just stating the fact. Man, ive got no chance against the three of them. Haiz, so sad. Fine, I will sleep right now and dream of a horrible death. Ciao.
Why have you left me all over the floor
Struggling to pick up the fragments you’ve made
Blood stains everywhere
On everything I touched
Mixed with my tears, my fears and disgust
Why are you making the fragments again
Blissful in seeing me crawl on all fours
Screeching at me when im almost complete
Patching you up with my silence my string
Stomped on the fragments
I collapsed on the ground
You sneered and you laughed
You will never stop
So.. im feeling like shit today. Nothing new about this because I feel like shit everyday. But this is the shittiest feeling ever (not sure if this sentence is grammatically correct though). To elaborate more on this shitty feeling with my limited vocab, I feel demoralized, like a lowlife sum, pathetic and idiotic. Yup, this is all that I can think of right now. Sometimes when you think that you have achieved something, you suddenly realize that its nothing compared to what others have done. Its like realizing that the cd or some expensive stuff that you have just bought, is fake. You feel soo small, so inferior and idiotic for buying it in the first place, for trusting yourself.
So, like I said, as this is the shittiest feeling ever, I just feel like hiding in a small crevice (duh, crevices are small, Di) and staying there until my time is due. Too bad the bermuda triangle is so far away. If not, I could just go there and thats it, im gone forever.
This is a bad time for feeling like shit because this stupid retail project is coming to an end. Im going to have a difficult time fighting an internal battle. A battle between my positive side and my cynical side. I just feel that everything I have done is useless and that it makes no difference if I try harder because in the end it doesnt even matter. But my conscience says (hah, like I have one in the first place..) that im wasting my time not working my butt off. So, what you can expect from me this week is a brooding and temperamental me. Before anyone gets hurt, I would like to apologize just in case I happen to act like a bitch (which is most unlikely to happen).
I will be going for a job interview later with norain, wendy and Andrew. Im most confident, I can bet my 2 cents on it, that the three of them will get the job because they are so good. Im not praising ok, just stating the fact. Man, ive got no chance against the three of them. Haiz, so sad. Fine, I will sleep right now and dream of a horrible death. Ciao.
Why have you left me all over the floor
Struggling to pick up the fragments you’ve made
Blood stains everywhere
On everything I touched
Mixed with my tears, my fears and disgust
Why are you making the fragments again
Blissful in seeing me crawl on all fours
Screeching at me when im almost complete
Patching you up with my silence my string
Stomped on the fragments
I collapsed on the ground
You sneered and you laughed
You will never stop
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