Ran dom

Just some random things that pooped in my brain ,wait, i mean popped...while i was busy sketching out the plans and elevations for this shakalaka project....

1. why do guys pretend not to know the girl who sends them messages on air? Especially on Ria fm, the dj sofian or zan-whats-his-name will call some people on their mobile and pass on the message to him/her(usually its a he). And then when the dj asked the guy who the sender is,their relationship lah, the guys will go...

'Huh? Yan/June/Nani/whatever-minah's-name-you-like mane? Sape huh? Ntah eh?'

I mean, WTH. That's the reaction that the Dj will get you know, almost 99% of the guys will give a similar response. I dont get it. Are you too popular and have soo many friends until you cant remember the girl or are you embarrassed of being on air or are you just being a plain old bastard?

But if the girl was listening to it, what would she feel? maybe yang hantar message tu minah tak malu tak? Ntah lah eh...

2. How come everytime the male dj interviews the bands or the dikir barat guys, they always, always crack funny jokes? This is not a bad thing, just that its better than listening to Nity baizura laughin like a hyena whenever hafeez glamour makes a joke or made fun of her. Macam menggatal on air gitu. But i think thats how she is, not gatal but very manja..urgh..N yeah, Dj syai/shai pun same, ketawe terkekek kekek...hello, i didnt tune into the station to listen to you laugh or flirt or babble nonsense...

3. Just because im reliable, doesnt mean other people are not. I mean, you can always ask 2nd sis to do the errand for you since she is your FAVOURITEST NIECE IN THE WORLD..why ask me? Scared she will pull a long face isit? I thought you say she is very the helpful...Bukan jealous lah tapi da nampak sah sangat pilih kasih kadang2. Dia kan amik course computer and office, macam die tak tau print kan bende tu pulak. Sometimes, im tired of being the goody goody, the helpful and reliable one. Sometimes i wish i wasnt so obedient...cos adults tend to forget you are still a kid and want to be pampered or left alone sometimes. And i really wish she would stop telling me to get a boyfriend...i know im pathetic, dont need to remind me that everytime i see you..

4. I miss mak. Havent seen her face since Sunday night. Im serious, she goes to work at 6 am while i go off at around 8... hmm...yelah, yelah, sometimes i cheat take cab at 9am. And when i come home at 12 midnight, she'll already be asleep...haiz, the only clear faces that i get to see are the babies faces, Tom & Jerry, since their cage is parked directly in front of my face. They are sooooo cute and adorable...especially Jerry, and Tom, oklah both are equally cute lah.

5. I miss watching tv, i really miss it A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss rugrats, spongebob, CSI, soccer mathes(well this is due to the fact that Arsenal's performance isnt sooo good or exciting as usual, huu..sorry BH dear)....

6. i.need.a.break.from.everything.My mind has been numb, i cant design, i cant think well and i can feel my wrist bones clearly...the bones are poking out. HOW COME THE FATS ON MY THIGHS ARE STILL THERE BUT MY HANDS ARE SHRINKING? Damn, one fine day i might look like a fat arse girl with sticks for arms, i guess i already look like that...why wont the body eat up the thigh fats?? WHY???????

WHY???????????

Anyway, im hoping that something will happen to make something else happen to make me less tired and less annoyed with everything and everyone else and that everyone will leave me alone, i dont want to talk to you, i dont want to smile at you or make small talk, i dont want to pretend everything's ok, i dont want to listen to you talk and i certainly dont want to see your face, unless if you're lee dong wook, or chester or thom yorke...not making sense huh? thats the point lah...

last words for the night.... i am tired so buzz off..

Tucked beneath the blankets
I walk around in the crowd
moving through invisible bodies
which spoke in tongues
and dressed in gold
that gray, grey halo
enveloping the m
bleak and dreary they were
chanced upon a bug on mushroom
smoking pot snifffffing glue
handed me a wad of bills
to burn at the threshold of my windowsill
A scream a whissssper a silent plea
to stop the cats from running free

As usual nothing makes sense. I believe i have come to terms with the fact that my dreams make much more sense than my life. So when things fuck up, i'll just go to sleep and forget about it for awhile. Havent been doing this lately since im always preoccupied with work and my tiredness but today it came back again. The need to write it out was overwhelming. If only life was more interesting for me to write about. If only we arent so caught up with chasing deadlines, maybe we would have the time to appreciate just spending 5 mins looking at the world.

Syukur alhamdullilah.

'Shut the f*ck up will ya??!!!!'

Yes, that's what i wanted to screech out on the phone when these bunch of bloody assholes called me up and demanded i send in the confirmation details by noon. But i cant do that see,since i'll be working with these idiots in the long run and we dont want any(more) problems in the future do we? I, for one, am not ready to be sabotaged by these dirty minded dodols. And to add to the misery, frustration and also kekanchiong-an that imencountering/feeling/

experiencing, they had to call me up 5/6 times every hour. And then we have the senile bastard who is in the menopausal stage of his sad life, cursing/insulting me at the background as i talk to one of his colleagues on the phone. Like HELLO you Apek, im not deaf ok?

Oh yeah, we have the client's employees who kept emailing asking for qoutation for small items. Do you expect me to go to the stalls at the beach and say this;

'Ermm, excuse me, can give me qoutation for slipper,beach ball, that blue bikini, this spade, etc,etc, and oh the packet of malboro too. And can pay with cheque or not?'

Bloody hell, if these people were within my grasp, i would have strangled them to death, no, wait, i would have washed their mouth with bleach, scrubbed it with the toilet detergent, put in mothballs, kapur barus and THEN i will strangle them to death.

Yeah, i know we are running out of time but cant you just follow my instructions? And bloody shit, do i have to give the pantone of EVERY.SINGLE.DAMN.THING? My goodness, they are really sucking my blood dry...

im very much perplexed, frustrated, tired, nervous, sad, pissed off, angry and also hungry at the same time. seems like everything stems from my incompetence and slow response, as usual, since im the designer, everyone will blame me for the late stuff...thanks man, that's what i love about being a designer.....

Anyway, have you ever felt that some people are just too nice until it borders around creepy? For example, this supplier guy that you work with , drops by at the office to send in samples and compliments on your look or your 'effeciency'. And you said thanks and smile, smile. Then the next visit for another prohect, he compliments again and that's what he kept doing everytime he visits you... Isnt that a bit freaky? Or maybe that person was just trying to be nice??? Hmmm..

I just realised how thin i've become when i grabbed my youngest sister's wrist the other day. And i went like, 'OH MY GOD!!!', while my sis went 'OW, stop squeezing my wrists!!' I cant believe that im bonier than her!!! Even the back of her palm is more meatier than mine. Haiz, gotta gain weight so that i wont look so sickly, not that i think i look sickly but other people keep saying that and well, you know what i mean. But 46 kg is ok for a person my height right?(which is actually 1.52m)

Anyway, i know this is kind of lembap and basi news but i just want to write a few words on Pan's Labyrinth. Such a beautiful movie but with a very sad ending. The theme is fairy tale and fascism. Unlikely combination but if you really think about it, it gels so well, since the real fairy tale isnt like what Disney has portrayed. I cant stop thinking about it, its like dejavu, or to be more exact, it brings along the the melancholic feeling. Maybe as a kid, we might have encountered the feeling Ophelia felt, maybe im just blabering nonsense. But yeah, i feel like watching it again, its so magical and, it just tugs at your soul lah..sheesh, dont know how to describe it.

Suppliers are calling me and asking whether there is an extension to the handover date for this project. Like hell, as if i know, the bloody arseholic bastard who sounded so nice and sweet on the phone this morning definitely wont tell me right? Since he's acting all superior like, authority crazed bugger, i'll let him be then. Let him answer to all these important stuff then.

So, im sleepy and bored, my mind decided to switch to lazy mode just when things are going to get super hectic. And im soo tempted to change this blogskin. And im super hungry, super thirsty and super dee duper in need of window shopping time. CNY coming, NTUC, sheng siong, etc all selling snacks, drinks and stuff. I feel kind of excited on their part, hope there are good shows to watch on tv.